Mid-July…Where is My Summer?

Thinking out loud here because I’m too tired to do anything else.

I slept okay…the exhaustion is emotional.

My husband is in good hands in the hospital, I know. 

Now I just take care of myself, even as there are things I cannot do…like put on the compression belt. 

Meanwhile, the thing called summer is a blur.

 Soon school will begin again and I don’t feel I will have had any time to rejuvenate.

Just trying to get through each day.

My yoga teacher said she’d send a guided meditation I can listen to. I hope she does.

I’m dragging. 

But I’m breathing. 

So there is my focus.

First Day of Summer

 

No, I wasn’t at the beach sipping drinks and watching dolphins. But yesterday did feel like the first day of summer to me.

Usually when school gets out, I crash for several days just doing a lot of nothing. This year I didn’t have that luxury. There had been so many things waiting to be done once school was out, I got right to it.

Yesterday, even with one short appointment to get Jim to, I decided was my day. I went to the library, got two short novels I’ve been wanting to read, and started one of them. We made our dinner for lunch and watched Remembering Gene Wilder on Netflix. (If you are a fan, I highly recommend.) I took a nap. I did a few other things which were not pre-planned…just things I felt like doing. Made wings for dinner, watched MASH, and read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

Today Jim has a breathing test, and there are some things I want to purge. So, back to business as usual, I guess. 😆

But it was sure nice to have that day. I promise myself another one…and soon! 

I go back to the summer of 1984…

It started quite by accident. The movie Footloose is on Netflix, and since I had never seen it, I decided to watch. It took me back to the time when nearly every song on the soundtrack was a big hit, there was no internet or compact discs in our world. Boomboxes with cassettes were prominent in the movie.

Then June 4 came, and I heard it was the anniversary of the release of the album Born in the U.S.A. by Bruce Springsteen. That was all it took. 1984 had a hold on me!

It was my first summer living with Jim at his house in Macedonia, Ohio, halfway between Cleveland and Akron. The home had three quarters of an acre of land and an above ground swimming pool. It was a great place for entertaining.

The Springsteen album was our standard background music. The house was a split level, and we could put the stereo speakers in the windows and blast it outside. I know there was plenty of other music we played, but this album is the one I remember best. 

This essay isn’t about the album so much as remembering the people and a couple of events the summer I was turning 29. I dug out a few pictures I have that represent summer weekends at our home, and a couple other related items.

First, check out my office at Freeman Manufacturing where I was the credit and collections manager. The picture was rather dark and taken with a crappy camera, so I adjusted as best I could. I got a real kick out of the seeing the computer. What a lunky box!

I had a couple of friends at work —Jeannie and Arlene—and one Saturday they came and hung out at the pool.

On the 4th of July we had a pool party for friends. It was mostly people from our work places with others sprinkled in. The weather wasn’t super, but the pool volleyball happened anyway.

On my 29th birthday, my friends from work took me to a bar/restaurant called Pickle Bills which was on the Cuyahoga River in the Flats, an up and coming entertainment area. At the time, singing telegrams were popular, and my friends paid to have some Tarzan guy come and sing to me and tell jokes. It was crazy fun, although frankly, he was a tad creepy. (Jim and I had celebrated over the weekend because he played golf on Mondays.)

To finish off this little walk down memory lane, I’m including a video of the Springsteen song from the 1984 album that has stood the test of time with me. I won’t say the summer days of 1984 were exactly “glory days,” but they did represent a certain time in my life where I was enjoying the results of decisions I had made a couple years earlier. Everything felt new and exciting, and so in that aspect, there was a touch of glory!

Signposts (Where I'm At)

 

On Monday, while standing in line at Target, I thought to myself:

What are my plans for myself this summer?

Usually I have travel plans or some kind of personal fulfillment project. But this year I've only thought of Jim's schedule and what needs to be done around here and getting a grip on some things around here that have been neglected too long.

No goals for exercise or art. Certainly no travel. My writing goal is already in place and has been rolling along quite fine.

I thought, well, I'm set, right? Maybe some yoga? Yes -- for sure--some yoga.

And I also thought of my book reading goals. How many years have I said "This summer I will finally read A Thousand Years of Solitude?" I’m determined once again. Every time I finally read a long neglected classic, it is always rewarding.

I mused on writing about this, so I went to my coloring app library and found this graphic I had started to color weeks ago and then left undone.

It appears it has been sitting there waiting for me, because I realized these signposts are all I need to know.

Happiness -- My husband is here and I have more time with him.

Pleasure -- Music, good food, relaxation, time to take a break from teaching

Health -- I keep up with stretches, but I do need to walk more and go to yoga. And I keep reminding myself not to stress about things I can't control.

Gladness -- I have friends. I have love.

Wellness -- As crazy as things could be, I feel stable and balanced.

Wealthiness -- We are looking to start selling some of our collections.

Wonderful & Beautiful -- I will keep looking at life with wonder, and notice beauty whenever and wherever I can.

Share -- What I do here every day!

And let's not forget the three birds at the top of the signposts -- after all, don't they stand for "Every little thing is gonna be alright"?

The question my mind brought forward in a vulnerable moment was once again the part of me that is trying to find fault with my life, rather than just being one with it. It's challenging me to be happy with where I am. The signposts reminded me to be grateful for what I have. What else do I need?

Something About This Morning

It is evening, and I’m moving toward getting dinner going and settling in with some television, which is our nightly routine. It has been another wonderful summer day of balancing reading and art and taking care of some things around here. 

I began the day by finally getting out for a walk at Bunche Beach, something I’ve wanted to do for a while, but was just too lazy to make happen. Plus the weather has been ungodly hot and humid, even in the wee hours, keeping me in the AC.

But today, miraculously, it was a little cooler. I arrived at the beach at 7:15 a.m., and there were only two other cars. That never happens! I practically had the place to myself. 

What was different about today was the affect it has had on me. I took my usual cache of photos, but there is something about this group that feels different to me. The color of the sky. The sunrise on the clouds over Sanibel.  The pelican lolling in the outgoing surf. The osprey feather I found. 

I posted a few pics on Facebook, and all day as people commented on them, they popped up again in my feed. And each time I was delighted all over. Each time I was so glad I had made the time to go and be with nature. 

So I decided to document this morning of joy for what it was—a bit of midsummer magic.

 

My arrival

 

PELICAN SEQUENCE

My walking path

First time I've ever scored an osprey feather

When I got back in the car, a meaningful song came on: "If Tomorrow Never Comes."  I felt blessed to know that if tomorrow doesn't come for me, at least I spent the last day doing what really matters.

Practicing Presence (7 Lines/ 7 Days #64)

 #108Weeks

August 1-7, 2021

 

 Be present. Pay attention.

Sunday brunch was a surprise -- really felt the love from my dear friends.

Lots of ups and downs the first day. Why was I so emotional?

The student numbers in my intensive reading classes are higher than I'd like them to be.

Open House was great. So. Many. Hugs.

I'm so grateful I have an experienced team around me. I have more support than ever.

I continue to be chill and let what I need come to me. This is the result of practicing presence.

Back in Balance (7 Lines/ 7 Days #63)

 #108Weeks

 July 25-31, 2021

 

 The trip put me in Zen mode.

This is my final week of the summer and the focus is self-care.

It's nice to be lazy!

I'm feeling a desire to get back to writing, but just can't grab on to anything. Who am I as a writer?

In a poem I read, the word "balance" stood out to me. I contemplated all the ways this applies right now.

It's really about watching my mind and responding to where it leads me.

Living the question brought me an answer. I have a new, solid, meaningful writing project on the horizon, and its making me feel connected and whole again.

Only a Dream in Nashville (7 Lines/7 Days #62)

 #108Weeks

July 18-24, 2021

Jim & I at the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum

 

 

I'm traveling light.

It's a difficult trip, but enjoying what I can.

Movement and hydration are key.

The Opry was AWESOME. Our seats really made it.

Stay in the moment!

Last night's show was great, but the Ryman Auditorium is damn uncomfortable!

Left Nashville and it already feels like it was just a dream.

The Purge (7 Lines/ 7 Days #61)

 #108Weeks

 

July 11-17, 2021

 

 

Discovered an awesome talent: Amethyst Kiah

Feeling rested and grounded

It's purging time: books and clothes

Knocked out all the safety trainings :-)

Discovered a funny TV show on Prime: Loudermilk

I'm always most productive before leaving town

My shelves and dresser drawers are organized finally!

 

Family & Friends (7 Lines / 7 Days #59)

 #108Weeks

June 27- July 3, 2021

 

Terrific time with family and friends.

I'm glad we had the get together with mom because I have no idea if it will ever happen again.

Monday was a total chill day and we watched five episodes of Ted Lasso.

Six hours at the airport on Tuesday, and still didn't get home.

I did get home by 11 a.m. on Thursday. The trip was lovely, even with the unexpected bonus day.

Feeling sluggish now that I'm home.

The Universe is my guide and guard 

 

Paul and I at Brew Dogs

Kim and Wayne

John, Matt, me, Evan, Mom, Martin, Margie

With Gordon and Becky

My nephews Michael and Ricky

At Fatheads with Brenda, Brandon, Margie, Cheryl, & Scott

Moments (7 Lines/ 7 Days #58)

 #108Weeks

 

June 20-26, 2021

 

Now that school is over, I've been feeling reverberations from the constant survival mode and trying to keep too many balls in the air. It's pretty outrageous now that I think about it.

I received a beautiful thank you note from Ricky.

Stay in the moment.

My dad would have been 92 this week.

My mind feels free and clear.

Had a great time at Brew Dogs, even though the sweet potato burger was a fail.

Huge orange moon on the horizon when coming home from the cook-out.

Looking Forward (7 Lines/ 7 Days #57)

 #108Weeks

 

June 13-19, 2021

 

 Going to the movie theater again was pure delight -- as was In the Heights.

The last day with 5th period wore me down to my last nerve -- and yes, I had to write a referral!

Grades were done by 11:00 a.m. Monday. YAY.

The Zoom session with author Roland Smith reminded me of how much I'm not writing.

Looking forward to getting back to some basics next school year.

Found things in my classroom closet I've been looking for -- so happy! Organized now for next year.

It's time to clean up around here and get ready for my trip to Ohio.

Good Vibrations (7 Lines / 7 Days #55)

 #108Weeks

 

May 30 - June 5, 2021

 

 A day of self-care helped me recovery pretty quickly.

We're going to Nashville in July!

Getting back to the yoga studio was wonderful.

I'm starting to shift into summer mode.

Big surprise yesterday -- I've been chosen (one of two) to attend training to teach 

Cambridge Global Studies to 8th graders next year. I'm thrilled!

 

I'll also be teaching Read 180 to intensive 7th and 8th graders. 

The plan for the class is already posted which is helpful.

Friday was so good I actually forgot it was Friday until the end of the day!