The Comforting Truth

From Rumi’s poem “Hoofbeats” I drew this line for a spine poem:

You are the soul inside the soul that’s always traveling.

You listen with intention and

Are learning how

The road leads you closer to

Soul revelations, the messages

Inside get clearer, understanding grows,

The way not so intimidating, your

Soul knows, distinctly, fully,

That’s the comforting truth 

Always available, always a companion

Traveling these labyrinthine roads with you.

January 7th

 Oh, January

Always so full of promise

Re-dos

Resolutions

“This year…”

But now I know

I’m just here 

to be present.

To receive.

To listen with my heart & soul.

I could vow to “do better.”

I could vow to change…somehow.

But what I really need

is just to be me.

Enduring Advice on a Birthday Week (7 Lines/7 Days #12)

 #108Weeks

 August 2-8, 2020

 

"If you're going to pray, don't worry. If you're going to worry, don't pray."

 Not sure exactly why, but fear has flown away. I'm sure whatever happens is all in Divine Order.

I am feeling positive this will take us to the place we need to be.

"Do everything as if it's your last time doing it."

I will know what to do when it is time to do it.

Going back through my journals and papers has helped me see part of me -- some I don't like too much -- but it definitely was a worthwhile project. I feel better about everything because of it.

"Just keep swimming."

Holy Confusion (7 Lines/7 Days #9)

#108Weeks

When I look back at this summer, what will I see?

Am I motivated by love or fear?

These words come to me as a strange comfort:

What of it?

Indeed.

What of it? 

I used to live in a country that cared about its citizens, 

but it is becoming more & more apparent that isn't the case.

This has been a day to realize

where I'm standing right now.

I'm focusing on quieting down, continuing to purge,

and create my sacred space, bit by bit.

Today I am going to take it easy.

Power Spot

I discovered a new power spot today.

I first learned of power spots from Danaan Perry in his book Warrior of the Heart. It’s a place in nature where you can sit uninterrupted and preferably unseen.

This new spot is in Lakes Park. I had another spot there at one time, but when they did maintenance on the walking path they took out the vegetation that kept me hidden.

I was delighted to find this spot today in the marsh area, with a smoothed out limestone rock to sit on. A place to go to gather my inner power, think, and pray.

😊

60. It's Done

#64Challenge

The strangest school year ever is coming to a close today.

From a strong and focused start to Global Read Aloud to switching curriculum to the joy of teaching four creative writing classes to virtual classes to mentoring students, it's been quite a year.

And next year -- I'm facing the fact it will most likely be virtual, at least for the first half of the year.

But today is the last official day. No parties. No goodbye hugs. No waving the buses on with tears in our eyes.

My team had a good long meeting today just to talk about successes and opportunities. We all agreed we have learned a lot, and have gained a wider perspective on what our students face in school every day, beyond our own classes. We know our reading team has a new and binding connection with other teachers in the school, as we reached out to our students who were struggling and saw them through.

I don't know what is around the corner. What I do know is that we will grow and learn together, become more proactive and reflective, and keep the heart and soul of teaching exactly where it is.

This year has been strange -- but not without amazing purpose.

A Bit More Light

I am slipping into a quiet place

Tracing my feelings like a finger on frosty glass

Piling up my prayers for a broken world

Strolling through my thoughts and letting them rest

Dissolving into the day's activities with an open and listening heart

Emerging at some point, when the time is right, 

when I have found a bit more light. 

Abundance

Inspired by a line in "To the Bone," a short story by Desiree Cooper.

 

Abundance

There are ways to keep from dwindling down to nothing.

I have filled my soul and spirit

this summer with hope and vision

the direction I have gone has been

a lovely surprise -- I embrace it

I see enhanced value in what I do

and the way I do it. Forethought

Practice. Reflection. The decision

of purposeful action, slow and steady

I have not been to the beach

yet the ocean is inside me, waves

of knowing, the swell of virtue found

in union, not division. Grace and goodness

combating a culture that can lead us astray

causing a hunger and thirst for something real

Billy Preston said "Nothing

from nothing leaves nothing."

Yet in this abundant movement

I am not starving.

I am filled with everything.

The Hidden Story

We go dry when disconnected from our true nature.

I’m driving to work the other morning with the radio on, and hear Molly Tuttle 

singing a song called “Walden.” I immediately know the words must be coming from

Henry David Thoreau’s famous work, as I listen and pick up some of the lines: The 

land where we dwell will not always be dry and Long after we’re gone, still the earth

will turn round and round and The life in us is like water in a river. And even though I 

don’t know exactly where she found these words in Walden, I think back to what I

know about the text, teaching the Transcendentalists to juniors in high school.  Yes, 

we read about the different drummer, but what stood out to me was Thoreau’s

singular experience in the bean fields, how he would spend his mornings hacking 

away at weeds that were relentless, how determined he was to know the beans,

even as he rarely ate them. Since I somehow do not own a copy of Walden, I found 

the bean fields paragraph online, and that is when I realized that our nonviolent

Henry David was speaking of being at war with the pigweed and piper-grass and 

Roman wormwood. This was his Trojan War, one relentless fibrous and strong weed

being compared to Hector, that towered a whole foot above his crowding comrades, 

fell before my weapon and rolled in the dust. These were the killing fields! I was

puzzled at first about this war talk, but then I realized the truth – Thoreau was in 

touch with his own spirit and soul. Working the bean fields was a practice,

and part of the mythology of our world is about conflicting forces. It was natural for 

him to tap into that myth, that hidden story, to make his experience full. This is the

reason we must have practices. He was simply being a full participant in life, and his 

personification of the weeds brings this into full relief and is another reminder that

our every day activities have consequence for us, bring us closer or farther away 

from ourselves.

Which brings us back to Molly’s song. When the desert is growing around us, when 

we feel the world we know is coming or has come to an end, our job is to reach

inside of ourselves and find that hidden story, that water of life, the one that will 

help us rise again, and create the new world meant to be born in our time, with our

help, with our dedication and strength and unique gifts. May we rise this year, may 

rise higher than man has ever known. May our singular mythic nature make everything

unnecessary disappear.

(Some ideas for this poem also came from Michael Meade's podcast "Mythic by Nature.")

Sunrise at the Slough

I recently made a commitment to myself to do what I am calling "soul practices" -- activities I know feed my soul.  Today's practice was to get to Six Mile Cypress Slough right at sunrise.  Get some green space in my life!

I was the first one there -- just the way I like it -- besides one photographer. The reflections of the trees in the pond were particularly beautiful in the morning light. Soon I discovered that part of the boardwalk is closed off temporarily "to protect wildlife."  I wondered just what that meant, since I have never seen them close it before.

Reflections

I walked slowly, listening to the various bird calls, and came to the Pop Ash Pond. I spotted a pair of cardinals, she with an neon orange beak.  I got a picture of him, but she disappeared before I got her. There weren't any other birds in the pond, until I walked away.  I heard a splashing sound, so I went back. There was an anhinga that had just come out of the water and was on a tree.

Anhinga

Mr. Cardinal. Misses flew away

Just past the Otter Pond is where the boardwalk was closed in the other direction. At the Otter Pond, there were lots of grunts from a gator or pig frog -- couldn't tell which.  Again, not a lot happening.

Until I walked away.  Then I heard a LOUD scream, and the sound of birds squawking. Then silence.  I smiled in amusement. Someone was mad!

But then I realized -- that was probably the scream of a panther. Most likely the wildlife they are protecting is a mama panther and her babies. I can't find anything about it online, but WOW. 

On my way back I was delighted to find apple snails chilling close to the boardwalk. That was a first for me.

All and all, a memorable and soulful morning at the Slough.

Apple snails

Hiding place

Pond apples

Shapes

It must be the influence of my friend Annmarie who is currently in Oregon sending back all kinds of unusual nature photos. Today I needed some blue space, and headed to Bunche Beach where I was greeted with shapes!

Yes, shapes!

Every tree, every rock, every mark in the sand seemed to speak to me today. There were scads of birds, and they were pretty awesome, too, in their mating regalia.  Not that any of the females were interested in courting. There was a lot of chasing going on.

But...the shapes.  I don't even have words today.  I just have shapes. Enjoy.

The Wildflower, The Orange, and The Soul

Today is the last day of my spring break, and I found myself getting caught up in planning for my 7th and 8th grade classes.  Finally I had to say ENOUGH.  Give myself this day. Enjoy my space.

I realized I had a magazine sitting on my coffee table, so glanced through it to see if there was anything interesting to read. I found and article called "Soil and Soul" that contained this inset quote from Wendell Berry:

Since I rarely hear anyone talking about topsoil, I thought perhaps there was a Green Space here for me, so I went back to the beginning and began to read.

The article is an interview between Father Michael Woods, Sister Kathleen Durkin, and Eileen Biehl.  It is about the work begin done by Catholics in a community effort called Grow Ohio Valley.  But that isn't what I was interested in.

Where I was drawn in was by statements made in the article, the conversation, that paralleled my life as a teacher.  Recently, I had come across a quote from a movie about how student growth is like that of a flower -- we cannot pull it up from the roots, we cannot paste the leaves on -- we are required to set the environment and let things blossom in their own time.

In this "season of testing" panic, I have watched my colleagues -- and yes, even myself -- trying to do that last minute pulling of the roots, pasting on of leaves.  This article about Soil and Soul brought me back to the place I need to be.

Some quotes and thoughts:

The complete reliance of all humanity on the soil for sustenance and survival placed farmers and the agriculture industry in the position of caretaker and cultivator.

As an educator, I feel that requirement to be caretaker and cultivator.  I think this is why teachers get so angry and frustrated with the whole era of standardized testing.  We see ourselves in a much different role than those tests require.  I also think the sustenance and survival of humanity relies on proper education, and that goes right down to every last child in every school -- not just the easy ones to educate.

We need to appreciate that the SOIL grows the food, NOT the farmer.  The farmer's job is to work thoughtfully with grace and humility to realize God's great gift to us in the soil.

Teachers, too, have to understand our role is to tend the soil of good instruction, allowing for healthy growth in our students.  They are God's gift to the world -- we should be nothing to destroy that beauty, certainly not just because some politicians told us to.

"Health" is a word related to salvation. It speaks to "making whole," and is related to heal, hallow, holy, and holistic. It is indeed "holy" work.

The current dysfunctional and unhealthy systems in place in our schools do little to help make us whole. It is a constant battle for a teacher to keep things in place to do no harm.  It is sometimes harder than parents or the general public realize.

Farming is a form of liturgy. There are set rhythms to the seasons and how nature moves and there is a constant set of things required for farming: water, weeding, pruning. But, each growing season is never the same.

This quote can easily be replaced with the school year and how it has its own seasons.  Fall is the toughest -- getting to know our students, who they are, what their abilities are.  It is never the same two years in a row.  Then around Thanksgiving, usually things start to smooth out, we are in routine. Then the intensity of getting ready for the tests -- third quarter -- the one where students start to feel either much stronger or much weaker.  The pressure is on.  Then, testing season, and when it is done...some rest, some fun, some activities that release the school year with pleasure. The things needed: teaching, observing, reinforcing, reteaching, measuring growth, raising awareness, reflecting, and creativity...the list could go on and on.

After reading and reflecting on this "Green Space" today, I read the next poem in River Flow.  It is called "The Wildflower" and it begins:

In the center of this wildflower
the names of things revolve like planets...

I was immediately reminded of the Buddhist teaching about the orange. What does the orange contain? Everything in the universe -- the seed, the tree, the leaves, the soil, the air, the sun, the rain, every movement someone made to get that orange to grow.

Everything is in everything. The more I can remember that, the better person I will be.

The soil needs to be healthy and ready.  The more I remember that, the better teacher I will be.

Everything I am is in that soil. Let me remember to cultivate with care.

"Soil and Soul" published in imagine ONE: Congregation of the Sisters of St. Joseph, Spring/Summer 2017