Disappearing Road

Gloomy day, feeling a bit bluesy, decided to color a picture and write a poem. Creativity should help, right?

The balancing act continues

Between getting things done and self-care.

Last night I dreamt of former students

Saw faces and some talked to me

I woke and for the first time I said

I miss teaching

But I mostly miss the relationships

And watching them grow

And accepting all they had to give.

This picture of the winding road through the trees

Feels appropriate for me right now

I can only see a few days ahead

My mood fluctuates, my grief changes

Cathartic moments erupt and waylay my plans

I know it’s okay

It’s going over the edge where the road disappears.

Off in the distance there are mountains

Something solid and real

For now, I rest on the road of trees

Take with gratitude all I do have

Shelter. Food. Friends. Faith.

Don’t Shake the Snow Globe

 Spontaneous poem…

I was up at 4:25 today desperate to get grading done

Two more assignments in two classes—too many students!

I listened to comforting music and I cried from worry

And I cried from comfort it gave me

And I thought about what to write here today 

I read this morning that “emotional constriction does not serve”

And boy, I’m finding that is true

I get caught up in Jim’s health

Is he breathing okay? Will he ever not be exhausted?

Does he need me to be here every minute?

And the worst one: How long does he have?

All kinds of worrisome nonsense not serving anyone

Least of all me

They feel like good questions in the moment

But it is simply shaking up the snow globe of fear

And truly does not help a thing

And as I contemplate all of this

Jim walks out with a laundry basket and puts in a load

I vow again to just appreciate what is

Let the snow globe settle

Be at some kind of peace

2023 Year In Review Photos

 2023 had some very special moments. For the fourth year in a row, I have gathered my year in review. It always proves to be a worthwhile activity, and this year is no different. It was particularly hard this time to just stick with one photo, but honestly, this isn’t about tyranny. I can make my own rules, right?

Feeling Connected

I love my time spent with friends. There were wonderful meals and conversations spent with friends like Annmarie, Laurie, Pam, and Angela which have no photo representation. No matter. I feel connected anyway.

Many fun events with Kara. Always!

A long overdue dinner with Susan and Natalie

Picking up where I left off with Bobbi Jo

Make Me Smile

A visit to Ohio is never complete with a meal at my favorite Colombian restaurant with the world’s best grilled shrimp arepas. This time Margie and I were joined by Scott, Brenda, Braydon and other family members. It was a wonderful evening. I also had an enjoyable lunch at Fatheads with John, Gail, Martin, Nettie, Cheryl, and Brandon — but somehow we failed to get a photo.

Feeling Relieved

In March I was able to return to Bunche Beach, my favorite walking spot, which had been closed since the hurricane in October. It felt like a special kind of grace to be there again after so much trauma.

Meaningful Moments

Wayne and Kim were able to visit in April, and given the state of Wayne’s health, it was the most meaningful event of the year. We enjoyed our time together, which included a trip to Ding Darling Wildlife Refuge on Sanibel Island.

Highlight of the Year

My friend and classmate Pat Schlosser takes on the awesome task of getting people together. She is responsible for the annual Florida lunch meeting, and she was behind the SJA Class of 1973 Underground Reunion which I cheerfully attended on June 3rd. It was a night of reconnecting with friends, many from the earliest school days. What a night it was! No class can surpass SJA ‘73!

I knew her as Patty from Kindergarten & beyond

Pat—the one who connects us all

My dear friend Laura. Simply the best.

Moments Shared With Loved Ones

It came time to begin putting together my ideas for this year’s review, and lo and behold, I found I had no pictures with Jim. I decided this needed correcting. I suggested a beach trip on Christmas morning, even though the weather was not too promising. We weren’t there long, but it was worth it just for the pictures. Later we would have our waiter at Courtney’s take more photos. It was another very special Christmas together, and I’m grateful for every moment with this guy.

Being Zen (7 Lines/7 Days #91)

 #108Weeks

February 5-12, 2022

 

This week I had a hard time finding lines to write for this project, as things are going extremely well. I almost thought of giving up. I kind of hate to do that, though; I'm on week 91, which means I just have 17 weeks to go. 

Then I remembered that Creative Writing Club met this week, and one of the things we were doing was making found poems from pages of old books. I had highlighted a lot of phrases from Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie, and so I thought, hmmm, maybe there is something there.

 Sure enough! This is what came together.

(P.S. Thanks for all who actually read this each week. I appreciate your loving support.)

 Note: italicized text is from the book. The rest are my words linking the thoughts together

 

 The most annoying thing in the world is a room full of crazy young teens who want to do anything but what they are supposed to do

It often tests my self-esteem and sanity

But on Friday, I was in a particularly good mood

As I sat on my raised chair up front, my sacred perch 

To tell you the truth, I was kind of surprised I was not annoyed

That I was pretty tranquil for a change--it was the coolest part

There. I can live with that.

 

 

All I Know (7 Lines/7 Days #90)

 #108Weeks

January 30-February 5, 2022

Taking care of myself is priority #1.

It's taken a long time, but I have figured out how to approach the curriculum.

Found out where to find Linda Ronstadt's final recording before she retired, and it's a beauty: 

"All I Know" with songwriter Jimmy Webb.

 

I have been plodding through a book considered one of the best of 2021 (Firekeeper's Daughter), and I'm constantly reminded I don't like mystery thriller novels. It ended fine, but never again!

 

We completed the second season of For All Mankind. It was something else!

It was fun watching the Global Perspective kids getting creative with their proposal project, making videos and Instagrams and commercials. This is the kind of thing I live for as a teacher, and I can't wait to see their end products.

4 out of 7 days I got Wordle in 3 tries!

BREATHE (7 Lines, 7 Days #88)

 #108Weeks

January 16-22, 2022

Best movie in a long time: The Tender Bar.

Real laughter is the best way to breathe (Thanks, Natalie).

Everything out of order with my classes is mind-boggling. Glad they’re now back on track.

And reading out loud to them is so fulfilling!

Thich Nhat Hanh, who taught me so much about BREATHING, has left the planet. His teachings will never die, as they are vital to our existence.

Happy surprise when a few changes made one class take off— and on a Friday, no less!

Every morning Wordle gives me a great challenge. Love it!

2021 Year in Review in Photos

The year of 2021 seemed rather mild in general, with a few hiccups and a couple of epic trips in the summer. Here is my Year in Review

Something New I Tried--Brew Dogs

When I arrived in Columbus, I knew one of our first stops would be Brew Dogs, a place I had been hearing about for a couple of years. It is an incredible brewery with restaurant, outdoor seating area, a nature walk, and a dog friendly hotel. It was the first of many adventures that week.

 

With Paul and Margie

 

Feeling Connected: Van Gogh Experience and Six Mile Slough

 

The pandemic was still raging with vaccines still not plentiful when I spent a couple of incredible days with friends. In February, it was a Saturday at Six Mile Cypress Slough with Laurie and Annmarie, followed by lunch at Mellow Mushroom. In March it was the Van Gogh Experience (art and music) with friends Amy and Kara. Since the exhibit was at the Dali Museum, we walked through the streets of St. Pete to find a place for lunch. Both of these days lifted my spirits during the trying times of a tough school year and health concerns, by connecting me to all the things I love most: friends, food, music, art, and nature.

 

 

Laurie, Annmarie, and me

With Amy and Kara at Dali Museum

 

 

Makes Me Smile -- Mom and John in Metroparks

This year we received the news that my 89-year-old mother has advanced Alzheimers. So you can imagine my delight when my brother John sent this beautiful picture of my mother at an overlook in the Rocky River Reservation. It is obvious the drive through nature was uplifting to her, since this is the best photo I've seen of her in a while.

Feeling Proud -- Ricky and his JCU Friends

My nephew Ricky headed off to college in the fall with $40 in his pocket I gave him with instructions that when he made friends at John Carroll University, he was to treat them. I was delighted when he texted me this photo of his friends enjoying ice cream on me!

 

 

Highlight of the Year -- Cookout in Westerville

What a wonderful evening at John and Gail's home--great food and the chance to see my niece Emily and her fabulous family. As a bonus I also got to spend time with my cousin Rick from Virginia, and my cousin Mark and his wife Kristen. It was a blast watching the kids play with the toys I got them, catching up with everyone, and just feeling relaxed on a beautiful Ohio evening.

 

With Paxton, Aiden, Lexi, Kaylee, & Margie

With the incredible Emily

John, me, Rick, Margie, & Mark

 

Meaningful Moment -- Ashlynn's First Day Back in My Class

I have long contended that reading a book together in the classroom is one of the most powerful experiences a student can have. More than once I have had students return their memories to me about books we read. I was thrilled and delighted when it happened again this year. Two years ago when I taught advanced 6th graders, we read The Bridge Home. This year, on the first day of class with 8th grade advanced students, Ashlynn walked in and the first words out of her mouth were, "Ms. Sadler, do you remember that book we read in 6th grade? That was so good! It is still my favorite book."  It doesn't get any better than that for a reading teacher!

Moment with Loved One -- Grand Ole Opry July 22

Nashville and the Grand Ole Opry have held great meaning for us since we first visited in 2013. After Jim's stroke, and then the pandemic hitting, I didn't know if we would ever be able to attend the Opry again. Our desire to get back there remain stoked as the Opry broadcasted live, even to an empty house, to keep the circle unbroken (as they say) during the shutdown. It made us long for the day we could return. In May I decided to map out a trip, even though it felt risky. But Jim agreed we should try, and in July we were on our way to Nashville. It was not an easy trip by any means, and our plans to meet John and Gail for dinner before the show got pretty messed up. But Jim had sprung for some of the best seats in the house and let me tell you, it really made a difference. From Connie Smith to Larry Gatlin to Lauren Alaina, we felt part of the music more than ever (and this was our 5th visit.)  When I think of this year, it is truly a night I remember most. Before the show someone sitting near us took this photo, and I'm so glad she did. To me it represents so many moments: making the risky decision to travel, pursuing our dream, and being somewhere I love with someone I love. It made everything that a came beforehand feel small in comparison.

Shifting (7 Lines/7 Days #83)

 #108Weeks

December 12-18, 2021

Crystal Bowl Meditation removed all the knots in my neck and shoulders. 

On Monday, I had a hard time feeling any love or joy at work because I had gotten all wrapped up in the numbers. 

I’ve decided I can’t be a Read 180 fascist. 

Found a way to lift a student’s spirits and belief in herself, and that felt good. 

Something shifted and I’m back in teacher mode. Wasn’t sure when or if that would ever happen.

On Friday I discovered how vulnerable I am, and it sent me reeling for hours. Fortunately it took place in a safe space, and I’m so grateful for wonderful friends.

If nothing else, I needed this week for everything to settle in, and to see once again how resilient I am.

Be the Joy (7 Lines/ 7 Days #78)

 #108Weeks

November 7-13, 2021

 

 

There is a way, and it's called Surrender to God.

I spent most of the week with little energy.

This quote from a young adult novel* I was reading stopped me in my tracks: What if the whole world is actually powered by secret rage?

My spiritual landscape has been made anew.

I have faith I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I read an essay** by an elementary educator in Alaska and she came to the same conclusion I have come to: We must be the joy we want to see in the world. No one is coming to save us.

Saturday I woke with a return of my energy. I am grateful.

 

 

* Of a Feather by Dayna Lorentz 

**Anyone who knows or cares about teachers should read this blog post: https://jenabenton.com/2021/10/21/its-time-to-talk-about-whats-going-on-in-school/

When the Dam Breaks (7 Lines, 7 Days #73)

 #108Weeks

October 3-9, 2021

I’ve been in survival mode more than I realized

I keep reminding myself about self-care, but it never feels like enough  

The week started stressful with fire and lockdown drills in my most challenging class

By Tuesday lunch I had a complete meltdown—worst day in over 5 years

Had to work hard to overcome the trauma and forgive forgive forgive

Soon I was back to laughing, having fun, recognizing the good, and coming home with energy 

The support I had at work and home was phenomenal  I am blessed 

Making Things Beautiful (7 Lines/7 Days #67)

 #108Weeks

August 22-28, 2021

 

Ted Lasso, my inspiration for all things positive

Observe the obvious.

I will use the ingredients I have to make things beautiful.

Books are window, mirrors, and sliding glass doors.

To improve things, I ask WWTLD? (What would Ted Lasso do?)

Serving the whole I feel myself to be a cherished part.

I started randomly choosing students for "Appreciations" a the beginning of class, complete with a handwritten note from me. Connections!

This year is about effort, focus, and perseverance.