Just Living My Life

I recently joined Blue Skies, a social media site that has recently gotten popular. I find some good stuff on there, totally different than being on Facebook.

There is a writer/writing teacher that shows up on my feed named Joseph Fasano.  I need to investigate more about him, and today’s post really got me interested. I think I could use some creative inspiration like what happened here:

I don’t have his prompt, but I am going to write my version here spontaneously, based on affirmations I’ve given myself today.

AFFIRMATIONS

My energy returned today

I took some bold steps in my financial wellness

I let the blue sky draw my attention and bring me rest

I took care of things and that means mostly me.

I am living a new story, one I expected

A lot of the crazy emotions I’ve had

well, they have calmed down

I am off the roller coaster for now

and just living my life.

That’s the way it should be.

It’s about time!

 

What a Busy Week

It’s late Friday afternoon, and I’m just getting to this blog. It’s been quite a week, but I seem to be coming to the end of the long road of financial and legal matters. I’ve had several ideas on where to take this, but will keep it short and sweet.

I picked up Jim’s touchstone today.

This is a flat stone in a display I can take out and hold in my hand. It contains some of his ashes.

When I die, there will be one made in purple for me. Well, not for me…I guess for whoever wants it. It’s already paid for.

Which, by the way, I highly recommend making your arrangements and getting them paid for in advance. It saved me a lot of angst and trouble when Jim passed. I was able to pull out a card with his account number and phone number to call. Quick and easy. I have a friend whose husband died in June and she said going to the funeral home to make the arrangements was the worst. It was traumatizing to her.

Here is where the stone will sit when not in my hand. 

Now I’m working on building in a lot of “me” time as Thanksgiving week approaches. I am grateful my friend Pam has invited me to share dinner at Lexington Country Club on Thursday. My friend Iris will be in Siesta Key, so we will meet in Punta Gorda for lunch on Tuesday. Otherwise, I have books to read and shows to watch and I really need to get a walk in at Lakes Park during this cooler weather. I am doing my best to take small steps forward and enjoy life just as it is. 

Thank you, friends, for listening and sharing your thoughts. It motivates me to keep expressing here, which I truly believe is something I need.

Checking In

 

Today I’ve been very tired

Not sure I slept that great last night

I had three days with a lot of socializing

I went to school yesterday and spent a couple hours seeing people

Picking things up and dropping things off

Talked to my counselor this morning and I think it was just an accumulation

Of my changing life coming at me

So today I read, and I rested

I was aware that I didn’t write yesterday so I thought it was good to check in here

Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be back at it

But for now… Rest

Sushi Delay No More

The day of the accident was the day I was doing for myself. The plan was yoga, sushi for lunch, and then a drive to Bonita to donate books to Annette. (Her bookstore is set to open this fall.)

Since I got home from the hospital, Margie and Paul were handling the meals. When they left on Friday, I decided I had the energy to make us an easy, yummy dinner, which I did. But it wasn’t easy on my body, and I vowed that I’d make other arrangements for the weekend.

After deliberating in a number of different ways on what kind of food to have for dinner, Jim and I agreed on Jason’s Deli. My friend Debbie had offered to bring it by, her treat.

That left lunchtime, and I was hungry. I had been at Convenient Care at 8 a.m. this morning getting my swelling leg checked out for possible blood clots. I woke up my friend Honey at the crack of dawn to drive me. It included a trip to Gulf Coast Medical for an ultrasound. Thankfully, all is clear.

Back to lunch. I remembered my plan for sushi over a week ago, and decided now is the time. My appetite is back and I have an Uber Eats gift card from my friend Leah. No time like the present to learn how to order and eat one of my favorites: Ninja Sunset Roll.

I added on a ginger salad and it was a feast for a Queen! 

Being gentle on myself today after a luscious and easy-to-obtain lunch feels just right. The phone isn’t ringing and texts from insurance companies and lawyers aren’t coming through. I know there is much to be done, but for now….rest.

First Day of Summer

 

No, I wasn’t at the beach sipping drinks and watching dolphins. But yesterday did feel like the first day of summer to me.

Usually when school gets out, I crash for several days just doing a lot of nothing. This year I didn’t have that luxury. There had been so many things waiting to be done once school was out, I got right to it.

Yesterday, even with one short appointment to get Jim to, I decided was my day. I went to the library, got two short novels I’ve been wanting to read, and started one of them. We made our dinner for lunch and watched Remembering Gene Wilder on Netflix. (If you are a fan, I highly recommend.) I took a nap. I did a few other things which were not pre-planned…just things I felt like doing. Made wings for dinner, watched MASH, and read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

Today Jim has a breathing test, and there are some things I want to purge. So, back to business as usual, I guess. 😆

But it was sure nice to have that day. I promise myself another one…and soon! 

Another Reminder

Reading Parker Palmer’s essay “A Wilderness Pilgrimage,” I came across this thought:

Watching wilderness overcome devastation has helped me see how suffering can serve as a seedbed for renewal. Even more, it has offered reassurance that in the great cycle of life and death, new life always gets the last word.

This serves to remind me of the power of nature, and the spirit that animates it all. Nothing is without purpose. I know I ebb and flow on this idea here in my writings…but I always know it is the highest truth, even when I seem to forget.

Right now, I’m better at letting things be and taking care of myself. It is easier because Jim is feeling good. I will take him for his labs and then take the rest of the day for myself. It seems like the best use of a summer Tuesday. 💚

Best Laid Plans

Didn’t get to write this morning

Slept late because I hadn’t slept well.

Had plans to write when I got home.

Then got involved in a tech issue hell

Now my newly opened Chardonnay waits for me,

and some shrimp tacos, too.

Try again tomorrow because

it’s the weekend, baby, 

and just 9 more days of school!

Relaxing

 

What a day!

I didn’t write this morning, and now I’m still blanking.

This was a day of handling issues surrounding the presentations the kids have been doing.

Partners who don’t do anything.

Email complaints about my feedback.

And the usual loud, obnoxious behavior, a trademark of this 7th grade class.

It was early release, which gave me time to do some things.

Now I’m home and I just want to play Song Pop and sip my wine,

Make a yummy shrimp dinner and watch Palm Royale.

Jim told me tonight he could never do what I do.

Won’t be long now I won’t be doing what I do.

Earlier this year I talked about 18 months.

Now I’m down to about 13.

So goes my Wednesday musings.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll find the writer in me.

3. Real Teaching

 #66Challenge

This was the third day of the school year, and the first one that made me feel like a real teacher again. Not a pandemic teacher. Not a Zoom teacher. A real teacher whose kids are engaged, involved, talking, laughing, and being creative. With my advanced students we were able to visit the library so everyone could get a book in their hand, and I taught the goal-setting bookmark for the first time in 2 years to help them set their reading targets.

Despite the masks again and some other protocols, I am so grateful for a return to the classroom I love.

Real reading. Real involvement.  Real community.

Family & Friends (7 Lines / 7 Days #59)

 #108Weeks

June 27- July 3, 2021

 

Terrific time with family and friends.

I'm glad we had the get together with mom because I have no idea if it will ever happen again.

Monday was a total chill day and we watched five episodes of Ted Lasso.

Six hours at the airport on Tuesday, and still didn't get home.

I did get home by 11 a.m. on Thursday. The trip was lovely, even with the unexpected bonus day.

Feeling sluggish now that I'm home.

The Universe is my guide and guard 

 

Paul and I at Brew Dogs

Kim and Wayne

John, Matt, me, Evan, Mom, Martin, Margie

With Gordon and Becky

My nephews Michael and Ricky

At Fatheads with Brenda, Brandon, Margie, Cheryl, & Scott

Lost in the Night, Found in the Morning

This past week I had my students do a little creative activity related to a couple of poems in our textbook. After studying some things about the poems, they had to choose a line from one of them and use it to begin a poem of their own. It was a beautiful surprise to see how many slid right into this activity, and produced lovely little pieces of writing. They only "rules" were it was to be 7-12 lines, and they had to include an image with the poem.

This idea is not a new one -- to use a line from one poem to begin another. Yesterday I decided to call these "caboose" poems.  As a kid, I always loved waving to the man in the caboose at the end of the train. I miss cabooses a lot!  I see the line the poet gave us as the train and we're the caboose, waving to them letting them know they inspired our own writing.

***

One of my morning practices is to read a poem and write one of my own. Today I decided it was time to make a daily practice of "caboose poems" specifically.  Here is my first one; the line is from Joy Harjo's "How to Write a Poem in Time of War."

 

Smoky sweet sunrises

where I love to be

in the morning

with music, prayer,

thoughts and words

and coffee and plans

Where I set myself

strong and vow to

do no wrong

(and fail...sometimes)

The wildlife calls

as does the sky

reminding me

I am here

while the clouds

paint and illuminate

while the sun 

does its sun thing

I am finding the me

lost in the night

of dreaming

So Many Ideas! (7 Lines/ 7 Days #23)

 #108Weeks

October 18-24, 2020

 

 Having a plan relieves my stress.

Been focusing on the moment as I find myself thinking ahead and sometimes worry comes across me about imagined ills in the future and ya know, that doesn't help anyone.

Had a crazy dream there was an early pizza party at work and I arrived late. I mean...it was pizza before 9 a.m.  The place was rockin'.

I ordered another Regina Brett book because I need uplifting stories. The Psalms aren't doing it!

I had a relaxing planning period -- first one all year.

I'm glad I have the weekend to chill.

So many ideas coming my way!

REST #13

Busyness has taken over, so even my daily poetry readings have not been producing much.  I have vowed to keep in touch with soul and spirit, so this is a step back in that direction.

Today when I read Hadewijch II from the 13th century, it produced another REST poem.  I like returning to the word rest because this isn't work -- this is recognition.

Reminded today of the vastness of life

Engulfed in the Infinite, everything I

See is too narrow a vision for the 

Trust I must put in the Divine.

REST #12

A morning of reflecting on how I have changed in a week...

what I and others have accomplished...

the changes in the world...

the words of Jeff Foster, Twyla Hansen, Parker Palmer, Emma Gonzalez...

this Sunday, this extraordinarily ordinary day.

Rhythm and rising, an

Elevation of the soul, spirit, heart like

Stars bursting forth in a dark night

Tuned in to the urgent love needed today.

REST #11

Today's inspiration: James Wright's poem "Time Left Alone"

Where the hand's grasp

opens in surprise and fear

to find itself full, and the face

that opens at last can

see itself new,

full in the depth of the sea.

Resting in time as it is, revolving

Evolving, bringing us to the next

Step, the place we will enter and know

Trust in the silent whisperings of the heart.

REST #10

Jeff Foster's book The Way of Rest: Finding the Courage to Hold Everything in Love has brought me back to the word REST, a word I worked with last June, and now feel inspired to continue.

Reminding me of the way we must be

Embracing the imperfect ordinary

Sitting with darkness and brokenness

Trusting in the Light shining from within.

REST #9

Resume life in Florida

Everything feels fresh

Slide into the silk of summer freedom

Tickle the belly of the creative life.

REST #8

Remembering to REST came in handy when the roads grew dark and rain-filled yesterday. I found a way to rest into safe driving.


Rain fell in torrents on I-95

Everyone slowed down, danger imminent

Slowly I rested into trailing a red Honda, letting it

Take me over the wet roads to Jacksonville

REST #7

Ritual of stone tossed, prayed on with a dream

Elements of water and rock to carry

Streaming into my life, my daily movements

Trusted to remember, to bless, to return

REST #6

Remember how the mountains wound themselves around your heart

Every blue ridge a part of healing your soul in a time of despair

Save those days--they were significant

To the journey you still carry on today.