Caboose poem from Barbara Kingsolver's "How to Give Thanks for a Broken Leg"
Step out as a brand new verb
moving
writing
listening
drawing
playing
wisening
breathing
reaching
illuminating
discovering
cycling
stretching
teaching
learning
resting
seeing
dreaming
keeping
being
We are more than a week into the holiday break, and I've entered the Quiet Zone.
Today I followed through on a decision I had made which was to use the "What's Your Word" cards my writing friend Kathy gave me as part of a gift exchange. There are 33 cards that ask questions that are supposed to lead you to your "word." I decided to go through the questions quickly and answer with one sentence each. After a warm-up and a jump start, there are several categories, each with a few related questions. Categories like Let Go, Be Me, Dream, Grow, Love, and Serve.
Answering these questions in a real "in the moment" fashion helped me get quickly to a couple important things happening with me: one has to do with physical strength, and the other has to do with how I want to spend my time going forward.
For many years I had a lot of different things going. A few years ago I cut back. I decided I wanted to spend most of my time focused on writing. And I did pretty well with that. I've completed several personal challenges, continue to write a poem a day, and my daily journaling, of course.
But something has shifted, and now there are other things that are calling for my time. One is the mandolin. I'm enjoying getting back into it focused just on ways to have fun and play with others. Second is my Music Polls page. I thoroughly enjoy what I'm doing with it, and others seem to like it, too. And third, a bit of art. I've committed to practicing some Zentangle, and that has been relaxing fun. No goals. Just do it.
One thing that has been a concern though, is what I feel is a physical weakening. It really started with the knotted up lat muscles in my side that sometimes made it painful to stand for any period of time, let alone do any walking. I've noticed a difference in my physical strength since I turned 65, and the lat situation has compounded it, keeping me from being as active as I need to be. I still do my daily yoga and stretching, but things like walks and weights and cycling have taken a back seat. Well, are fairly non-existent.
Answering the questions in the "What's Your Word" put this in the forefront. I realized as hard as it is, I have to find ways to start building strength.
So there is my word. STRENGTH
I started here...a return to Six Mile Cypress Slough, where I walked nearly two miles with nary a twinge from my crazy lats, and thorough enjoyment of the slough itself. Throughout the pandemic I knew the slough boardwalk was open, but I didn't go because of a simple thing like the bathrooms not being available. By the time I drive there, I usually need to use the restroom before wending my way along the boardwalk, which takes the visitor through pinewoods, a hardwood forest, a hammock, and more than a few ponds. But yesterday I learned the park was fully open, and I knew that was my first stop today.
My friend Kara shared with me her focus for the coming year: Peace, Energy, Calm. Add to that STRENGTH. And that is what I felt today, finally returning to the slough, where I don't think I've been in quite a long time. At least a year...maybe longer.
Entering the Quiet Zone is a natural part of this bridge of time between Christmas and New Years, a time I traditionally use to reflect and ground myself. All the right ingredients came together today. I intend to use them all to keep my STRENGTH building, despite any setbacks or frustrations. It is the most perfect and necessary thing for me right now.
STRENGTH -- Challenge Accepted!!!!
Caboose poem inspired by Joy Harjo's "First Morning"
Don't look back, keep going
The year landed as it did
Now you move ahead,
reaping what you've sown
Knowing better days are coming.
In the bleak December this
may seem far away
And we know the virus
is only increasing (sadly, unnecessarily)
But every morning is a
FIRST MORNING
The first morning to smile
The first morning to breathe
The first morning to write yourself into a new story.
It is always possible.
No clock ticking but your own self-imposed limitations.
Don't look back.
Keep going.
#108Weeks
December 20-26, 2020
 |
| Photo by Kara Vereen |
Take a line from someone else's poem and carry it forward
"It is necessary to come back and work in the world"
 | |||||
| Jim and I * Christmas 2020 * Bunche Beach |
First line from January O'Neil's "Love Song for a Decommissioned Power Plant"
Thoughts inspired by Dolly Parton's song "I Still Believe"
Write this new space into being
a place where the dreams
of many can begin to come true.
Those of us who have believed
for a long time
in a better world.
Write of the possibility and the glow.
Write as if it will help us
all belong.
It is a guiding force:
compassion, empathy, real caring.
Fill the void
of the last few years.
Ignore the ignorance.
Write the possibility
and build the dream.
It is there
within reach.
Now.
The time is now.
Today's Caboose poem from Barbara Kingsolver's "How to Fly (in Ten Thousand Easy Lessons)"
You summited the mountain
or you didn't
and might have fallen short
You cared too much
and was left hurting
You made a wrong turn
and it took years to correct
You made too many mistakes
and lived the consequences
You opened your heart anyway
and found peace
You stopped thinking about failure
and placed your bet on LOVE
Caboose poem inspired by "Blackbirds" by Julie Cadwallader Staub
We live and move and have our being here,
in this curving and soaring world.
We do not always recognize our influence
or remember what we came here to teach.
It's happening always.
It's our state of being.
It's who we are
at the core
the heart
the things pushing us within,
whether we feel it or not.
Take your eyes to the sky and learn.
Remember yourself.
It's big.
It's bold.
It's ever-changing.
This past week I had my students do a little creative activity related to a couple of poems in our textbook. After studying some things about the poems, they had to choose a line from one of them and use it to begin a poem of their own. It was a beautiful surprise to see how many slid right into this activity, and produced lovely little pieces of writing. They only "rules" were it was to be 7-12 lines, and they had to include an image with the poem.
This idea is not a new one -- to use a line from one poem to begin another. Yesterday I decided to call these "caboose" poems. As a kid, I always loved waving to the man in the caboose at the end of the train. I miss cabooses a lot! I see the line the poet gave us as the train and we're the caboose, waving to them letting them know they inspired our own writing.
***
One of my morning practices is to read a poem and write one of my own. Today I decided it was time to make a daily practice of "caboose poems" specifically. Here is my first one; the line is from Joy Harjo's "How to Write a Poem in Time of War."
where I love to be
in the morning
with music, prayer,
thoughts and words
and coffee and plans
Where I set myself
strong and vow to
do no wrong
(and fail...sometimes)
The wildlife calls
as does the sky
reminding me
I am here
while the clouds
paint and illuminate
while the sun
does its sun thing
I am finding the me
lost in the night
of dreaming
It was the beginning of 2nd period on Friday, and we were waiting for the morning news to come on. I realized that there was printing on the screen, something about the Ovations Dancers -- the elite dance group at my school of the arts.
And then music started and the dancers, dressed in their Christmas jammies, were dancing on the stage, on the walkways, and all kinds of recognizable places around our campus, to the music of Mariah Carey.
I turned off the lights and stood in the corner of the room, a huge lump in my throat, trying to fight back the tears (that still come with the memory), and it all flooded in, all the losses of this school year, knowing that this day traditionally given over to a wonderful holiday celebration had been truncated, left to one class to video and share.
As I fought back tears, I looked around my study hall class, and some weren't even watching the screen. Meanwhile, I was trying so hard not to totally melt down, like I'm doing now over 24 hours later as I write these words.
Throughout this pandemic, I've done a good job accentuating the positive, making the wisest choices I can about any social activities, and looking at the benefits it has given us. There are some, truly.
But this past Friday morning, I had to grieve. I had to acknowledge the loss. I had to recognize fully for the first time I wouldn't be hearing the jazz band play some upbeat holiday tune, that I wouldn't get to hear the magnificent Panther Singers, and worst of all, our whole school would not be singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" together, as is our tradition--my very favorite, by the way.
Today has had many lovely things about it, spending time making music and with my online writing friends. But this grief wouldn't shake out of me, despite it all.
It just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote about it. It is reminding me I can't bury the sorrows that are part of 2020.
Time will move on, things will change, and it will be easy to forget some of the strife. This is my small part in documenting the realities.
And now maybe I can finally start letting it go.
#108Weeks
December 13-19, 2020
I am happy to return to Zen, something that has drifted away.I saw a beautiful eagle flying rather low -- a great reminder that Spirit is always with me.
Ricky's band concert was livestreamed and I loved everything about it!
I worked on non-attachment, especially with my 6th graders.
#108 Weeks
December 5-12, 2020
Make amends before it's too late.
10 more days, then a nice long break.
Had 7 people at the Creative Writing Club and lots of good poems shared.
More kids being quarantined every day.
For some reason the heat never shuts off in my classroom, making me very grumpy!
Reminded again that I always have everything I need in any given moment.
#108Weeks
November 29-December 5, 2020
I've 100% found myself again.
More kids are quarantined -- all morning I was getting emails.
I'm really glad we're at a smoother time of the year.
"Don't quit before the miracle happens because there might be more than one."
I'm starting to reflect a lot on the last 11 months.
This has been no ordinary year!
I have a lot of positive feelings for 2021.
(quote from Regina Brett)
It is Thursday, and my first thought is Why is the summer going so fast? My second is How will I ever get everything accomplished I need to...
