Just an Arms Length Away

Today is a dark, gloomy, rainy day. It is starting to affect me in ways I don't like.

I took Jim to the dermatologist this morning because of a concerning spot on his forehead. Doc doesn't think it is anything, but did a biopsy. We were told to make a follow-up in 6 months.

And I had this thought as they made the appointment for the day after Christmas. Will he make it to this appointment?

Once we were home, and my anxiety was rising, I knew that perhaps if I came to my old computer to write some blog posts, I would be giving myself a good opportunity to feel better. But instead, I thought of things I shouldn't be thinking, and I started to cry. I thought of talking to Jim about it, but he had already said how tired he was. He woke at 3:30 a.m. and was unable to get back to sleep.

And then, hiding behind some papers and notebooks, I found this:

It is polished heart-shaped rock my friend Annmarie sent me when the shutdown happened and I had to suddenly teach from home. When it arrived, I put it by the computer, and that is where it has been ever since.

I picked up the stone and immediately my heart felt lifted. The tears stopped flowing. I cannot express the calm and peace I that swept over me. It had been just an arms length away.