29. My Reading Life 2019

#64Challenge

This post qualifies for the 64 Challenge because my reading life in 2019 was a direct result of my goals as a reading teacher -- to keep to a personal reading goal, to know more about myself and my reading identity, to read more books I can promote to my students, and to increase my knowledge. All of these things happened, and more. I'm documenting this here mostly for myself -- but then, that is what most of these blog posts are anyway, right?

Statistics:
Adult fiction -- 17 
Young Adult/Middle Grades -- 38
Poetry -- -9
Nonfiction -- 24
Professional -- 5

Authors I read the most:
Barbara Kingsolver (5)
Jewell Parker Rhodes (3)

Nonfiction books that were fascinating a variety of ways:
The Library Book by Susan Orlean
Just Mercy: A True Story for the Fight for Justice by Bryan Stevenson
The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels by Jon Meacham
The 57 Bus: A True Story of Two Teenagers and the Crime That Changed Their Lives by Dashka Slater

Three Harrowing Memoirs:
The Light Years by Chris Rush
Shout by Laurie Halse Anderson
Educated by Tara Westover

Books I read in one day:
Orbiting Jupiter by Gary D. Schmidt
Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson
Shout by Laurie Halse Anderson
Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai

Adult fiction books that lived up to the hype I'd heard about them:
The Dutch House by Anne Patchett
Unsheltered by Barbara Kingsolver
Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson
Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichi

Books by authors I know personally or have met:
Mobius Strips and Other Stories by Tom DeMarchi
Khmer Girl by Peou Tuy
Spirits on an Island by Virginia L. Amsler
On the Street of Divine Love by Barbara Hamby

Most overrated adult fiction book:
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens (a crawDUD)

The "I thought I was done with John Green books" turnaround when I read...
Turtles All the Way Down

Young Adult/Middle Grade Books that were absolute delights:
The First Rule of Punk by Celia C. Perez
Lucky Broken Girl by Ruth Behar
Song for a Whale by Lynne Kelly
Chained by Lynne Kelly
House Arrest by K.A. Holt
Orbiting Jupiter by Gary D. Schmidt

Young Adult/Middle Grade Books that take issues head-on and do it well:
Dear Martin by Nic Stone  (racism)
Ghost Boys by Jewell Parker Rhodes  (Emmett Till, Tamir Rice)
Ninth Ward by Jewell Parker Rhodes   (Hurricane Katrina)
Towers Falling by Jewell Parker Rhodes   (9/11)
Inside Out and Back Again by Thanhha Lai  (refugees after Vietnam fell)
All American Boys by Justin Reynolds (racism)
Genesis Begins Again by Alicia D. Williams  (skin color)
Harbor Me by Jacqueline Woodson (ICE raids, racism, and more)

I need to read more books by:
Nic Stone

Poetry that as difficult to read because of subject matter, but I persevered:
Whereas by Layli Long Soldier 
Another America by Barbara Kingsolver 

Books with spiritual and natural world themes which enlightened:
Standing on the Edge:Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet by Joan Halifax
On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Older by Parker J. Palmer
Red: Passion and Patience in the Desert by Terry Tempest Williams

Best Professional Books:
We Got This: Equity, Access, and the Quest to Be Who Our Students Need Us to Be by Cornelius Minor
Disrupting Thinking: Why How We Read Matters by Kylene Beers and Robert E. Probst

Books that gave me faith in humanity and possibilities for America:
The Shortest Way Home by Pete Buttigieg
Gumption: Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America's Gutsiest Troublemakers by Nick Offerman
The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels by Jon Meacham
Standing on the Edge:Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet by Joan Halifax
On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Older by Parker J. Palmer
Small Wonder by Barbara Kingsolver

Books that have sat on my shelves for years, and I FINALLY read them:
Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler (the longest -- I've had it since the late 1980s!)
Ceremony by Leslie Marmom Silko
Pigs in Heaven by Barbara Kingsolver

Books I had started in earlier years and finally finished this year:
When You're Falling, Dive: Lessons in the Art of Living by Mark Matousek
Storyworthy by Matthew Dicks
Transfiguration: A Meditation on Transforming Ourselves and Our World by John Dear
Lester Higata's 20th Century by Barbara Hamby
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen
Small Wonder by Barbara Kingsolver
(and all the poetry books, as I rotate 7 of them a week, and read one a day)

Books I got to share in the classroom with my students:
The Bridge Home by Padma Venkatraman
Peak by Roland Smith
March Book One by John Lewis and Andrew Aydin

Books I read with the CLMS Book Club I started:
The Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinnelli
That Was Then, This is Now by S.E.Hinton
Izzy, Willy-Nilly by Cynthia Voigt

The book I know I recommended the most:
The Library Book by Susan Orlean

LOOKING TOWARD 2020

My goal will be 108 books.

I want to alternate between white authors and authors of color or global lit. I'd also like to pick up the number of adult fiction I'm reading.

I have three books on my shelf which have been there for many years that I have targeted to read because they were either Pulitzer Prize or National Book Award winners (The Road, The Color Purple, and Middlesex)

I want to finally read Little Women (the movie was amazing and I want to compare), along with the book March by Geraldine Brooks, a Pulitzer Prize winner, which brings to life the father of the March sisters.

REFLECTION

I learned a lot about making time for reading. There were a few times I took a little time "off" from major reading, but I already have an established habit of reading certain things in the morning. So, I'm never really off.

I liked having the goal, and having online pages with other teachers doing the same kind of challenge. Some of the books I read and really loved I was directed to by these teachers. For most of the books I read, I create a reading goal sheet to help keep me on track -- the same one I teach my students to use.

My reading identity has been changing steadily over the past few years. Occasionally I focus in on one author (something I used to always do), but now I find I prefer to bounce around a little. Opening myself up to literature from other cultures and experiences is a big direction for me. But, as I've learned from doing the book club, it is also good to dig back and find the lost gems, the classics that have been overlooked. Going to try to keep that balance.

All in all, the year didn't end up as I originally thought it would, and that is quite all right!  I didn't necessarily read what I thought I would read. On the other hand, I read more books than I ever thought possible. I thought I read a lot in 2018, and it turned out it was just 35! So this has been a great experience, and I intend on moving forward.

The expansion in my thinking has been noticeable and incredible. It's like I am continually seeing new colors in a rainbow, or new facets on a diamond. It's a joy and a delight and I am grateful to every writer who has the courage to get their books in print. I will do my best to uphold my end as a reader!

Red and White

Today I read Mary Biddinger's poem "Partial Credit Syndrome," and in it there were key words that took me back in time, over 35 years ago. When I heard Mary speak last September, she talked about beacons. Somehow Go Ask Alice, Tab, and terrycloth rompers became beacons to me today. 



In the 1970s, I read Go Ask Alice
and started to drink Tab.
This was before Diet Coke.

In the 1980s, I wore terrycloth rompers
that long weekend at Turnberry in Miami Beach.
I had worked hard to lose weight,
get fit;
Jane Fonda in the morning,
and Diet Coke in the afternoon.

I wore mostly red and white that
weekend. Except for the rompers.

I saw Gloria Vanderbilt in a white terry
robe at the Turnberry Spa, no make-up,
her entourage surrounding her.

And Stephanie Powers at dinner.
Tried hard not to stare.

It was when I dined on stone crabs
for the first time,
and saw the beat-up buildings
that were to become South Beach.

1985. I was turning 30-years-old.
The world was opening up.

28. Balancing Act

#64Challenge

Usually at this time of year I feel like I've got my kids all going in one direction, and the chances for learning increase.

But this year is different. There are many changes happening for me next semester.

First, I will have four creative writing classes.  I've never had more than one at a time. This will be a much heavier workload, and I'm conscious of the fact that I will need to make adjustments so I don't overwhelm myself with things to read. I have always let the classes seek their own level and interests, and I'm uncertain right now how much I need to keep uniform and how much I need to control. It will be a balancing act for sure.

Next, our reading curriculum will totally change. We are starting with a scripted program come January, and I am the only one on the team who hasn't taught it before. I feel rather lost and down because it will require starting a ton of new routines with my students. Yes, the foundation is there, but there will be a lot of new things to get used to. The good part is I can see the curriculum is more intense, which will be good for the kids. But the lack of flexibility is tough for this creative-minded teacher.

What will remain constant is my 28 6th grade advanced reading students. They will be doing my favorite unit on survival and the Titanic research project. This, and the solid foundation of independent reading, will keep me afloat through the balancing act I am soon going to have to learn with the 7 other classes.

New vision and new challenges for 2020!  After a solid break, I will be ready.

27. December Motto

#64Challenge

I keep forgetting to document my December motto. I heard a line similar to this in the song "Emmylou" by First Aid Kit, and I thought it was beautiful.

I see so much impatience around me. It is surely a sign to slow down, take a breath, and focus on what is real. I'm getting better about this all the time!  And I'm doing what I can to help my colleagues do the same.

26. Tsunami

#64Challenge

I am well aware it has been over a month since I wrote a blog related to my challenge. I have had a few ideas, but not anything that made me get into my studio and start typing.

Until today.

A little background first.

This story focuses on a student I have in reading class, as well as speech and debate. He moved here last year when his dad felt it was better for Jace (pseudonym) to live with him in Florida rather than his mom in Mississippi. Jace is a bit of a contrary kid, never coming to class on time, just kind of dragging around wearing his backpack in the front, dressed in a black hoodie, and not really talking to anyone. Sometimes he falls asleep in class. In speech and debate class, he didn't do much of anything to help his team. They wrote his rebuttal speech, and he did get up and deliver it, but that was about it.

Since I see him every day, I have come to understand how to work with him. I've also discovered he is quite intelligent, but won't put forth much effort. The teacher next to me, LeeAnn, has him for Language Arts. She has a soft spot for him, and we've discussed his progress (or lack of) at times.

Last week when his speech class finished their debates and started the Town Project, I sat down with Jace.  Everyone else was actively creating the person they were in the town, something I call the Character Autobiography. Jace was just sitting there, far from everyone else, not doing anything.

For some reason there seemed to be an opening for me to confirm that he doesn't feel he has any friends, and how hard that is. I pointed out to him that if he created a character for the town, when he spoke it wouldn't be Jace talking, it would be the character. I suggested that could be easier than being himself, just for the fun of it. I encouraged him to fill out the Character Autobiography form.

Much to my surprise, a day or two later I discovered he did it!

Today was the day the town (called Radio City) was electing a mayor. The kids who wanted to run for mayor were to give me their character name, which I listed on the board, and then they each had to give a speech.

So first I listed a boy. Then a girl. Then Jace raised his hand and said he was running for mayor.  His town name is Frank Ann. I wrote him down. We then added another girl and boy -- 5 in all.

When it came to the speeches, however, "Frank" wasn't so ready to perform. He was shaking his head, saying he wasn't going to come up and speak, just erase his name.

And that's when the magic began to happen.

The kids started to clap and chant his name: Frank Ann, Frank Ann, Frank Ann.  They were not going to take no for an answer, and eventually he got up and give a super short remark -- maybe something like "I'm Frank Ann. Vote for me." 

The crowd went wild.

After that, the writing was on the wall. The other two kids gave their little speeches, but everyone knew who was going to win. It was a tsunami of support for a kid who is often an outsider.

I handed out the ballots and then I slipped into LeeAnn's room (we have a little work room in between our rooms), and told her, " I think you may want to see this. Something is about to happen with Jace."

She came in the room as I collected the ballots. Then we started to read them off. A couple of the other students got votes, but all the rest were for Frank Ann. Every time I read his name on a ballot, a loud cheer went up. Over and over. 19 times! Jace could barely contain his joy -- he was glowing, although he was trying to hide behind his backpack. When it was clear he won, some kids were literally jumping up and down.

"Frank" came up to thank the crowd in his usual manner: "Thanks for making me mayor."

Short, but oh, so sweet!

I told my teammate Debbie about this event after work, and she pointed out that this was a wonderful example of kindness. And she was right. The kids in that 7th period class were being authentically kind to a kid that really needed a boost. It was a genuine attempt to let him know they were not willing to leave him out, even if he often removed himself.

This was a magical day I hope I never forget. And if I do...well, it's documented here to remind me.

Alternate Path

Response to Billy Collins poem "Pavilion."

Billy's poem is about

imagining a different

kind of life,

not being a writer,

but perhaps a dog

hanging its head out

the car window.

Is there another life I would live?

An alternate?

I'm back at the herb farm

in Weaverville, North Carolina

a place we thought we'd like,

perhaps thrive.

The whole thing seems weird now.

But, 

I could have been that herb farmer,

looking at the sky above the mountains,

going by the rhythm of the seasons,

designing wreaths of lavender and eucalyptus,

rocking in the swing under a tree.

Reshaping

This morning I read a couple of Barbara Kingsolver essays, then a poem by Joy Harjo, and the next thing I knew this poem arrived.

I've been reading a lot this morning
about remembering and forgetting.

I find myself in a flux between the two.

I have a word I've been carrying with me:
reshaping.

I am reshaping my Christmas holiday,
my way of thinking about curriculum,
my plans for the summer.

I'm looking to overcome little niggling fears.
Going to parties. Making the drive.
Opening to discovery by digging through boxes
and finding new highways.

It's a gentle process...reshaping.

I'm reminded of a Goddess Making in Clay
workshop I took many years ago,
how the clay goddess was made and
remade over and over again. She took
so many forms in my hands.

I was young then. I didn't comprehend
with my being this reshaping. It was
intellectual, an arc I was being taught.

Now -- it's organic and real and inescapable.

Now I can see and feel I am the clay
and the clay in my own hands.

I am both.

And the shape that appears is both
real and illusory.

It's remembering and forgetting
as the shape conforms to nothing.

It's here. It's gone.
And the only proper response is joy.

Erasure

Slightly inspired by Mary Biddinger's poem "The Subject Pool." Mostly inspired by a trip to the Rauschenberg gallery yesterday.


Yesterday the subject was
Robert Rauschenberg
and how he would draw
and then erase what
he had drawn, and he
thought, who would care?

So he arrived at de Koonig's door
and asked for a drawing
he could erase
and the great artist obliged,
and RR spent a month
erasing that piece of art.

And people were horrified
that he would destroy
a masterpiece.

But Robert just shrugged.
"It's complicated," he said.
"It's poetry."

***

That was as far as I got
in the video; I had not
allowed enough time at
the gallery, and they were
getting ready to close,
so I left.

Stepped out into the bright day,
the sky above the campus
mottled with clouds
on a lovely blue background,
surely ready to erase themselves
at any time.