What will you do? What will you say?

Today I read a poem by David Whyte called “Horse in Landscape: Franz Marc.” I looked up the painting so I could understand the poem better. 

He describes much of what you see here, and then he writes:

What will you do 

and what will you say 

in the times 

when you are left alone 

to meet, like this, 

the quiet fury of the world.

I thought he was referring to the landscape. Then I realized, no, he meant the horse — the horse represented the “quiet fury.”

I am not sure about the quiet fury of the world, but I know my quiet fury. I faced it again yesterday when discussing Jim’s health. The frustration and loss sometimes overwhelms me and yes, I am angry. I feel that tightening in my chest and what I say is…

There is a plan — I just don’t know it yet.

And what do I do?

TRUST.

I have lived long enough to know these are the only worthy  responses. I know acceptance is everything. Surrendering to what IS and not what I think it should be is essential.

And make no mistake—-this very much feels like I’m alone. It is my choices in life brought me here. And God did not bring me this far to see me fall.

So, I face the fury of my own future as I stand in a colorful landscape of love and awareness and nature. I allow myself…

To be lifted

To have the sun in my heart

To find joy

Over and over and over again, this is my response.

This is what I do. This is what I say.

The Sun and the Moon

 Inspired by Nikita Gill’s poem by the same name.

I am the sun in my classroom.

It is my role to shine a light on my learners.

They are in various phases, sometimes might even appear broken.

Yet, they are whole within themselves

and my job is to find ways to make them glow.

I say this in the wake of hearing and reading

so much rigidity from teachers.

The sun is not rigid.

It delights.

It warms.

It makes things grow.

Where the heck did this idea come from that our students 

are employees and we pay them with grades?

This thinking is anti-sun.

It brings darkness.

It’s arrogant and ignorant and downright mean.

I still recall Michael Meade’s words:

The teacher must stand in the waterfall with her students.

Likewise, I see that I must be the sun.

What better purpose could there possibly be 

than to help others 

glow and grow?

“The Knots Untie”

Inspired by Rumi’s poem of the same name.

Love is pulling us out by the ear to school.

Love wants us clean of resentment and those impulses that misguide our souls.

 When we try to make sense of things

without realizing it’s all about the narrative,

the story we tell ourselves,

we are misguided souls.

Nothing in isolation.

Nothing permanent.

We are constantly fooled, aren’t we?

Finding Peace Among the Sculptures and the Flowers

 Yesterday my friend Kara and I visited the Peace River Botanical and Sculpture Gardens. Although I didn’t take a ton of photos, I collected some representative remembrances. 

Meandering walkways and boardwalks carry visitors through the park. We loved this view with the contrasting greens and browns.

Next up, the Butterfly House.

The sculptures around the park were in a wide variety, and from artists all over the world. There were some in stone, some in glass, others cut out of appliances and cars. I did not photograph many of them, but a couple favorites.

The park is divided in two by a road, and in the second half we found more tremendous sculptures, a koi pond, and a sensory garden. We walked to the gazebo at the end of a pier in the Peace River where we watched a huge flock of loons hanging out and getting lunch. 

On the way back from the river we walked a mangrove boardwalk. We created a new saying for our friendship: “You and me and the trees!” The peace and beauty and expansive art and nature had been a balm to our souls.

After a pleasant visit to the gift shop, we returned to the main park and came upon Andy Warhol. Apparently, 20 of these were made when the famous Pop Art artist passed away.

All in all, an absolutely perfect January day in Punta Gorda with art, nature, and a good friend.

Kara by the koi pond

Hitting the Reset Button

 It’s a new day.

Yesterday I spent a good hour coming to terms with all the ways I’ve gone wrong this school year. Many things have started to click together, and the things I’m doing wrong rose to the surface.

It started when I randomly clicked on January 2019 in this blog and found a poem I wrote where I mentioned we have to “bend the curriculum to the students,” a quote from Cornelius Minor.

It reminded me of something I read on New Year’s Day, an essay by a teacher who talked about storyboarding the curriculum, an idea that set me on fire. After all, I have preached to my students that everything is about story. Why I never applied that to the curriculum is anyone’s guess.

That aside, I realized that I have been unkind at times. Controlling. Have carried negative feelings toward certain learners. Have focused on the wrong things. Have looked for magical answers and then blamed the kids when they didn’t work.

I tired myself out.

Between revisiting We Got This by Cornelius Minor and Dare to Lead by Brene Brown, I found a direction. The new semester is a chance to hit the reset button and start again.

One of the things that stood out in Dare to Lead was Brene’s list of the differences between Armored Leadership and Daring Leadership.

Armored: Leading for compliance and control.

Daring: Cultivating commitment and shared purpose.

This provided my direction.

I also revisited the end of the book where she explains thoroughly that everything is about the stories we tell ourselves. There was that word STORY again.

I’ve concluded that everything is about story or nothing is. I will take the former, and I will make it a part of my classroom culture. There are already a million ideas floating around in my head, and I can’t wait to get started.

After all, today is a new day.

Open (a nonet)

 I thought I had nothing left to say

For a year I sat in silence

But the river never stopped

The words were floating there

I just shrugged them off 

Now I open

Reach for them

Listen

Write

2023 Year In Review Photos

 2023 had some very special moments. For the fourth year in a row, I have gathered my year in review. It always proves to be a worthwhile activity, and this year is no different. It was particularly hard this time to just stick with one photo, but honestly, this isn’t about tyranny. I can make my own rules, right?

Feeling Connected

I love my time spent with friends. There were wonderful meals and conversations spent with friends like Annmarie, Laurie, Pam, and Angela which have no photo representation. No matter. I feel connected anyway.

Many fun events with Kara. Always!

A long overdue dinner with Susan and Natalie

Picking up where I left off with Bobbi Jo

Make Me Smile

A visit to Ohio is never complete with a meal at my favorite Colombian restaurant with the world’s best grilled shrimp arepas. This time Margie and I were joined by Scott, Brenda, Braydon and other family members. It was a wonderful evening. I also had an enjoyable lunch at Fatheads with John, Gail, Martin, Nettie, Cheryl, and Brandon — but somehow we failed to get a photo.

Feeling Relieved

In March I was able to return to Bunche Beach, my favorite walking spot, which had been closed since the hurricane in October. It felt like a special kind of grace to be there again after so much trauma.

Meaningful Moments

Wayne and Kim were able to visit in April, and given the state of Wayne’s health, it was the most meaningful event of the year. We enjoyed our time together, which included a trip to Ding Darling Wildlife Refuge on Sanibel Island.

Highlight of the Year

My friend and classmate Pat Schlosser takes on the awesome task of getting people together. She is responsible for the annual Florida lunch meeting, and she was behind the SJA Class of 1973 Underground Reunion which I cheerfully attended on June 3rd. It was a night of reconnecting with friends, many from the earliest school days. What a night it was! No class can surpass SJA ‘73!

I knew her as Patty from Kindergarten & beyond

Pat—the one who connects us all

My dear friend Laura. Simply the best.

Moments Shared With Loved Ones

It came time to begin putting together my ideas for this year’s review, and lo and behold, I found I had no pictures with Jim. I decided this needed correcting. I suggested a beach trip on Christmas morning, even though the weather was not too promising. We weren’t there long, but it was worth it just for the pictures. Later we would have our waiter at Courtney’s take more photos. It was another very special Christmas together, and I’m grateful for every moment with this guy.