What will you do? What will you say?

Today I read a poem by David Whyte called “Horse in Landscape: Franz Marc.” I looked up the painting so I could understand the poem better. 

He describes much of what you see here, and then he writes:

What will you do 

and what will you say 

in the times 

when you are left alone 

to meet, like this, 

the quiet fury of the world.

I thought he was referring to the landscape. Then I realized, no, he meant the horse — the horse represented the “quiet fury.”

I am not sure about the quiet fury of the world, but I know my quiet fury. I faced it again yesterday when discussing Jim’s health. The frustration and loss sometimes overwhelms me and yes, I am angry. I feel that tightening in my chest and what I say is…

There is a plan — I just don’t know it yet.

And what do I do?

TRUST.

I have lived long enough to know these are the only worthy  responses. I know acceptance is everything. Surrendering to what IS and not what I think it should be is essential.

And make no mistake—-this very much feels like I’m alone. It is my choices in life brought me here. And God did not bring me this far to see me fall.

So, I face the fury of my own future as I stand in a colorful landscape of love and awareness and nature. I allow myself…

To be lifted

To have the sun in my heart

To find joy

Over and over and over again, this is my response.

This is what I do. This is what I say.