Let’s Talk About Taylor

 

Today I had a whole shitload of stuff to do for school, and as I worked on it I listened to three new albums that dropped yesterday. The final one was the new Taylor Swift. 

I’m not a Swiftie by any stretch, and the only album I have deeply loved and know well is her very first one. To say I’m just a casual listener is accurate; of course, I’m a huge fan of one of her best—“ All Too Well.”

In passing, I was reading some reviews of the album. One mentioned the album made “All Too Well” sound lightweight. That caught my attention.

After listening, I find that is accurate, as are many other comments I’ve read on the album. Taylor says the lyrics were more important than ever to her, and even in background listening the intensity penetrates. Remember I was listening while focusing on creating assignments and grading.

When I was about 11 songs into the 17 song album, I realized there was something I recognized here. A thought came…How old is Taylor anyway?

I quick search gave the exact answer I anticipated:

I knew it.

It isn’t significant that she is exactly half my age. But I know something about her age I’ve observed for decades based on my own experience.

At that age I had become an entrepreneur working from home, which was not all the rage as it is now. I had worked my way to a place where I thought This is it. I’m in the exact right spot.”

But something didn’t feel right. I felt restless. Dissatisfied. Aimless. And none of those words actually fit. 

I told Jim and he suggested I find someone to talk to. I knew he was right. Someone must have recommended a therapist, and I went to see her. I think her name was Vicki.  

The first visit I told her the mish-mash of feelings I was having. She suggested I check out the good Passages by Gail Sheehy. This was a very popular book in the 1970s and I still had it on my shelf.  I went home and read about my particular time of adulthood, and learned that what I was feeling was the female midlife crisis. It comes earlier than men experience, which is usually later thirties/early forties. Naturally, most people don’t know women have it, too! And it is usually between 34–36. This is when women seek divorce, or go back to school. It’s when all the finely laid plans seem wrong. 

I can’t speak for what it is like to be Taylor. I understand she had a breakup after 6 years, which was the motivation for her. But I recognize the emotion in this line from “Fortnite”:

All my mornings are Mondays stuck in endless February

That’s midlife crisis! She is blessed with the ability to put this experience into words that hit on a deep level, so that even a woman twice her age can say, yeah, I get it…I remember.

I only saw Vicki one more time. I went to tell her that she had pointed me exactly where I need to look.

Taylor is doing that now for millions of women around the world. They will know they aren’t alone when that ennui about life sweeps over them. They will have songs to sing that will speak to the experience. Music will light the dark passage and provide the healing needed. A beautiful and necessary gift between tortured poets.