Dying? Or Being Born?

 Two inspirations today: “Just Beyond the Fence, A Train” by David Kirby and “I Won’t Stay for Long” by David Crosby.

From the poem: 

You can’t save everyone

You save whom you can

Right now, I’m just trying to save myself

But there may be some screenagers* who will come along

Some who care about learning, growing, becoming a better person

But if they won’t come willingly, I cannot make them

Truth is, I can’t keep pushing this river

Too exhausting

Out of 180+ students, what can I get? Maybe 20%?

Today I speak to them, that 20%. I make it about them.

I do I to save me.

“I don’t know if I’m dying or about to be born”

AFTERWORD:

I’m concluding that my desire to reach all my learners is a fool’s errand. As a teacher, I long to make that difference. But I feel the culture is working so against us all, beating us down.  I cannot continue this way.

Am I admitting defeat? Maybe. Or maybe I’m just retreating so I can find the right reinforcements. My current ones are failing me, not shoring me up like they used to. They just don’t seem to work anymore.

I surrender myself to what is. I listen for my next step.

🌻

* about screenagers—this from a website about Generation Alpha