The Frilled Lizard Ramble

 Got to thinking about some things today...

It began when I started to think about a photo I saw from Thanksgiving. It was a family I know who live out west (have never met personally, Jim's relatives), and noted conservatives and Trump supporters. They were gathered at two tables with several other people and the caption read "Faith instead of Fear"

So I started thinking...was this ever about fear?

That led me to what I witnessed in the run-up to the holiday. Many people felt pressured by family members to continue Thanksgiving like they always had, and it was causing many relationship issues. Many of the reasons given, of course, had to do with not living in fear.

My next thought -- perhaps it is just kindness instead of selfishness? After all, the COVID situation is clearly spinning out of control.  Is keeping life in some kind of "control" better than making sure you are part of the solution, not the problem?

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I once knew a woman who was 75-years-old and for decades had celebrated Christmas the exact same way. Then there was a year where her husband insisted they travel to Washington state for a family holiday gathering. The woman was completely freaked out about not having her regular Christmas. She was not coping with it well at all.

It was really sad to see her in such a state. I gave up "tradition" in 1979 when I went with a friend to New Orleans on Thanksgiving and had shrimp for dinner!  I've never needed snow on Christmas, turkey on Thanksgiving (we had prime rib last night), and I have always been willing to mix things up. But knowing what I know, I get that many people can't cope with that kind of change.

I thought about how people were lashing out at relatives who desired to heed the warnings and remain safe. It occurred to me that those were the one who were really afraid - terrified of what life has thrown at us this year, so much so they are willing to say or do anything to form the world in the only way they think it works.

My 6th grade students read a science article about animal defenses, and one was the Frilled Lizard. When this guy sees an enemy, he tries running up the tree. When that doesn't help, he puffs up his neck and hisses to scare away the enemy. 

I think many people are like the lizard -- when they can't get their way, they start insulting and mocking the person they claim they can't celebrate without. I don't even get how that would make a happy holiday -- berating and shaming someone into joining you?

Where is the love?

Who is really afraid here? 

Then I got to thinking about two times this year I was most afraid: the day my husband had his stroke, and the thought of the president winning the election. 

Thanksgiving was small potatoes in relation. Seriously! 

I think that by wearing a mask and limiting my exposure, it is good for everyone. It distresses me at times that others don't think beyond themselves.

Why have so many forgotten our interdependence? The common good? 

Or were they never aware of it to begin with?

I'm glad that most of the people I know personally had a wise and wonderful holiday, not taking chances, and remembering that Thanksgiving is never all about them. 

It's always about larger love and caring and respecting the wishes of others. No hissing necessary!