Meditate on This

Feeling fuzzy and tired and like the week will never end. Feel far from Blue Space/Green Space. Know that is up to me to make my way back.

Then I read this in David Whyte's poem "Breath."  It's a new thought somehow.  Never heard anything worded quite like it.

Life is busy but I feel calmer when I meditate on this:

what I have loved
was loved because it was not me,
but changed me,
even as it left me

Bougainvillea, I Think

Today I skipped the fundraising run/walk because the rain was torrential and lightning threatening. But by around noon, I was longing for some blue space.  I took myself out for a quick walk around the block.

It's a muggy day, and everything is wet, the sidewalks covered with leaves and blossoms and bits of mulch from the rain.  People in my neighborhood were driving a bit crazy, on their cell phones, pulling out in front of each other.  Floridians can't function well without sun.

What I noticed most in my neighborhood was the Bougainvillea blooming everywhere.  It made me think of my favorite song on Sam Outlaw's new album.  It's a sweet story, and I love the chorus.  Take a listen.

Consonance in W

I stepped out on the lanai before 5:30 a.m., 63 degrees, bright white quarter moon in the sky.  Breathed in.  Prayed.  Came back in and read the poem "Owl Calls," and was taken with the quiet whispers of the W's in the poem.  It is not my intention to make this a blog of found poetry, but I couldn't help it.  Here is another found poem.

Consonance in W

white sweep

wood gate

across the quiet field

two white owls glide

toward the woods

fresh wet grass

water color sky washed

first whispering of old poem

outlined by quiet

Here Beside Us

As part of my practice, I read a section of The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen every day. It is the perfect Blue Space/Green Space activity since he is writing a detailed journal of being high in the Himalayas. Today, three paragraphs stood out to me, and I created this found poem:

These days are luminous

No wisp of cloud
Pure heat of our star
Something arises
This ringing

Diamond ice cracks the stone
Sun glints like a weapon
My eyes see straight into the heart of chaos
An echo, pulsing in the star heat

Eternity is not remote
It is here beside us.

The Wildflower, The Orange, and The Soul

Today is the last day of my spring break, and I found myself getting caught up in planning for my 7th and 8th grade classes.  Finally I had to say ENOUGH.  Give myself this day. Enjoy my space.

I realized I had a magazine sitting on my coffee table, so glanced through it to see if there was anything interesting to read. I found and article called "Soil and Soul" that contained this inset quote from Wendell Berry:

Since I rarely hear anyone talking about topsoil, I thought perhaps there was a Green Space here for me, so I went back to the beginning and began to read.

The article is an interview between Father Michael Woods, Sister Kathleen Durkin, and Eileen Biehl.  It is about the work begin done by Catholics in a community effort called Grow Ohio Valley.  But that isn't what I was interested in.

Where I was drawn in was by statements made in the article, the conversation, that paralleled my life as a teacher.  Recently, I had come across a quote from a movie about how student growth is like that of a flower -- we cannot pull it up from the roots, we cannot paste the leaves on -- we are required to set the environment and let things blossom in their own time.

In this "season of testing" panic, I have watched my colleagues -- and yes, even myself -- trying to do that last minute pulling of the roots, pasting on of leaves.  This article about Soil and Soul brought me back to the place I need to be.

Some quotes and thoughts:

The complete reliance of all humanity on the soil for sustenance and survival placed farmers and the agriculture industry in the position of caretaker and cultivator.

As an educator, I feel that requirement to be caretaker and cultivator.  I think this is why teachers get so angry and frustrated with the whole era of standardized testing.  We see ourselves in a much different role than those tests require.  I also think the sustenance and survival of humanity relies on proper education, and that goes right down to every last child in every school -- not just the easy ones to educate.

We need to appreciate that the SOIL grows the food, NOT the farmer.  The farmer's job is to work thoughtfully with grace and humility to realize God's great gift to us in the soil.

Teachers, too, have to understand our role is to tend the soil of good instruction, allowing for healthy growth in our students.  They are God's gift to the world -- we should be nothing to destroy that beauty, certainly not just because some politicians told us to.

"Health" is a word related to salvation. It speaks to "making whole," and is related to heal, hallow, holy, and holistic. It is indeed "holy" work.

The current dysfunctional and unhealthy systems in place in our schools do little to help make us whole. It is a constant battle for a teacher to keep things in place to do no harm.  It is sometimes harder than parents or the general public realize.

Farming is a form of liturgy. There are set rhythms to the seasons and how nature moves and there is a constant set of things required for farming: water, weeding, pruning. But, each growing season is never the same.

This quote can easily be replaced with the school year and how it has its own seasons.  Fall is the toughest -- getting to know our students, who they are, what their abilities are.  It is never the same two years in a row.  Then around Thanksgiving, usually things start to smooth out, we are in routine. Then the intensity of getting ready for the tests -- third quarter -- the one where students start to feel either much stronger or much weaker.  The pressure is on.  Then, testing season, and when it is done...some rest, some fun, some activities that release the school year with pleasure. The things needed: teaching, observing, reinforcing, reteaching, measuring growth, raising awareness, reflecting, and creativity...the list could go on and on.

After reading and reflecting on this "Green Space" today, I read the next poem in River Flow.  It is called "The Wildflower" and it begins:

In the center of this wildflower
the names of things revolve like planets...

I was immediately reminded of the Buddhist teaching about the orange. What does the orange contain? Everything in the universe -- the seed, the tree, the leaves, the soil, the air, the sun, the rain, every movement someone made to get that orange to grow.

Everything is in everything. The more I can remember that, the better person I will be.

The soil needs to be healthy and ready.  The more I remember that, the better teacher I will be.

Everything I am is in that soil. Let me remember to cultivate with care.

"Soil and Soul" published in imagine ONE: Congregation of the Sisters of St. Joseph, Spring/Summer 2017

Light Over Water

I stepped out in
the dark morning
lifted slightly by
the tropical breeze
and then taken
in by the Morning Star --
Venus -- "a center of brilliance" --
in all her glory.
And I sunk in, couldn't
release my eyes,
and prayed.
I imagined she
cast a long pale light
on the lake. I stared --
could it be so? This
distant planet shining
a streak here in Fort Myers?
(I almost called my
husband to confirm, but
didn't want to pull him out
of bed. Besides, I decided
I was seeing things.)

And I finished my prayers,
recalled it was Easter,
took a last look at the sky,
and thought, Didn't they
call Jesus the Morning Star?

Back inside, I opened River Flow
to the next David Whyte poem:
"Light Over Water."

How did he know?

Birds Moving on the Beach

I visited Bunche Beach today in an effort to find some Blue Space, something I learned of just yesterday.  It is a frame of mind the beach can put you in -- the environment is guaranteed to lift stress and depression, as well as increase creativity.  Of course, I know that already, but fail to use this easy method of staying in balance.  Today, I begin a new commitment to keep some Blue and Green balance in my life.

The best part about Blue Spaces or Green Spaces is that they often are together.  My commitment is to notice, to document, to not forget to use this easy method to keep me in balance and energized and inspired.

And after my visits to Green Spaces and Blue Spaces, my plan is to read a David Whyte poem. I have a new and selected poems collection called River Flow.  I chose David Whyte because his poems combine nature and spirituality, and his work is one of teaching the use of poetry to help us in our every day work lives: something we all need, all the time, even those of us who have a job that includes teaching poetry.

There are over 300 poems in this collection, and today I began a section called "Moments."  This was the first poem, and I used it as a mentor poem to express what I witnessed at the beach today -- lots and lots of birds.

David's poem:

My poem:

Birds Moving on the Beach

In spring
through the shallow water
around the bay
there are birds moving
on the mud flats

in the cool light
they hunt and peck

following the sand offering
until a resting place
              calls

and morning
is the graceful sound of fulfillment
in the Florida sun.