11. Why I Despise 45

#64Challenge

Once again, 2nd period did their usual game-playing.

We have a rule: you can take the 10 minutes before class starts for the day to play on your Chromebook, but when the news comes on you close it and listen.

Today most everyone closed theirs except one (white) boy, who kept it open AND the sound on, as he was playing a Trump speech. This is obviously a slam at those who are most marginalized by the man who calls himself our president. I closed the computer and took it away.

After the news I was challenged by the boy's friend: "Would you have closed it if Hilary Clinton was speaking?"  I told him I don't care if was Spongebob, the fact is we have a rule about closing the books. The audio was an additional violation.

Gah.

I truly feel that the level of "okay to be hateful" has risen, and these privileged white boys are riding the wave. I hate it. And I know I can only do what I can do to combat it.

10. Promise

#64Challenge

After watching intensive reading students grapple with text, and borrowing a line from Nick Flynn's poem "Balcony" this poem emerged.



The only promise I can make
is I will do my best to
guide you in the direction you
are meant to go, that I will
encourage you, point out all the
place you shine, and let you
keep polishing that stone, that
gem inside you, that is waiting
to emerge, that will be a brighter
light, that will make you know
it is possible.

Dear Husband

Modeled after Peuo Tuy's poem "Dear Mother"




Dear Husband

From sunrise to sunset
you are a presence of love.

Daily, you set up our coffee
you take care of kitchen detail
you do the laundry -- perfectly.

You hug and kiss me and tell me you love me
without fail, every day
as I come and go.

9. The River is Beginning to Flow

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Ah...mid-September.

The river is beginning to flow without me feeling like I'm pushing it.

We had a well-attended first meeting of the CLMS Book Club on Tuesday. I was a tad nervous about that, but I guess I didn't need to be.

The admin has been balancing out our classes so I no longer have 24 intensive reading students in my 10th period class starting next week.  Alleluia!

This weekend I am actually cranking through some things that I simply cannot get to during the week. Working ahead. The past two weekends I've been nothing but a blob, doing virtually nothing. I feel my energy is rising again. Thank you baby Jesus.

I finally had a decent class with my tough and crowded 2nd period. Creative writing is heading into developing their first stories. Speech and debate are talking about topics they'd like to debate -- and this is the first really brave bunch I've had. Border wall. Vaping. Gun control. LBGTQ issues. Reparations. Formal debates will begin to be planned after we do one small independent project.

The Global Read Aloud is coming quickly, so planning time is needed for it.

But mostly I just want to say -- I like the way things are going and I love that I have energy returning. It's all uphill from here!

8. What Do I Know?

#64Challenge

Today I was trying to decide if I should write this morning or wait until the weekend.  Then I read Gary Snyder's poem "Daily Life," in which he is being judgmental about another poet's work, then has an a-ha moment at the end:

Then I think,
what do I know?
About what to say,
or not to say, what to tell, or not, to whom,
or when

still.


And I knew I had to write today. And it concerns good old 2nd period...again.

On Wednesday they came in super wired up. We had the distinct pleasure of adding two more students to the class, bringing it up to 30, and I could tell by the new students' faces they were wondering what fresh hell they just entered. The class was wound up because they knew that the day had come they would have to start presenting. There would be no putting it off anymore.

We managed to get through one team presentation. The class was to be giving positive feedback afterward, but were saying extremely negative things like, "This team did NOTHING good." I had to do the usual--pulling the class together, reminding them to focus on the good things and be supportive. And then Jazmin spoke up: But I don't support everyone in this class.

I did not quite know what to do with that.  I commended her for her honesty, even as it didn't help. I know she was not just speaking for herself.

We fumbled through the class with the usual ups and downs and clown acts, and later I had a chance to reflect. I thought about the different factions in the room: the privileged white boys (and one Asian), the kids of color, the 7th graders who admire the too-old-to-be-in-middle-school Dylan, and a couple smaller groups who are working hard but probably terrified of all the other groups. 

This class is a mini-America, and I can't fix that. There is a clear color line, and they want to fight their war in my classroom in the format they are given.  I can't beat you at your game, but I can slide in a comment to let you know. Of course all they are doing is setting themselves up to be criticized in turn. This is where the immature reactions will be poisonous.

And I will be blunt. I have absolutely no idea what to do with any of that. I talked to them about the classroom experience being what they make it, but I'm aware I cannot force them to be kind to each other, or at least keep their mouth shut on the negatives. 

They are coming back in first thing today. It is continually the longest hour of the day for me, and the one that stretches every bit of my patience and understanding. Yet, writing in my journal the other day I realized it has become about loving them more. There are issues -- I can see that. I can only do what I can do.

Love them. Keep moving forward. Listen. Be their teacher.

7. Week 4 Round-Up (and Roundabout)

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It was a short week, but a long week. Don't we know that is true? The short weeks are always the ones that drag. To make it worse, we had Curriculum Night on Thursday, so that was a 12 hour day, leaving me pretty drained by Friday.

Here is a short round-up of the week, filtered through "blue space, green space, and river flow."

Blue Space -- It has been blue skies in most of my reading classes, as they grab on to what we are doing and run with it. I still have one struggling class, which happens to meet during the lunch period, and we don't eat until near the end, so the challenges have been great. I am not sure how much learning we are actually getting done. I have decided this is probably one of those classes I will have to try a million things with before I find a way that works.

Green Space -- I witnessed several speech students stepping out of their comfort zones and doing their team presentations on the larger questions, themes, and global connections in picture books such as Yertle the Turtle and The True Story of the Three Little Pigs. The ones most nervous were the ones most happy when they powered through and made it happen. This is the incredible power of overcoming fear of public speaking!

I also discovered that one of my sixth grade creative writing students writes beautiful sentences naturally. He read something he wrote in our 10 minute "crash and burn," and it was pretty darn good. I was impressed.

River Flow -- On Thursday evening I got to meet some parents. Instead of a sign-in sheet I had them fill out a small form on which they told me something special or admirable about their child. I got some rave reviews on kids -- mostly things I've already seen and figured out, but some surprises as well -- and I was very happy to have given them a chance to brag on their kids. I only had 7 minutes with each period, and some had only a couple of parents attend, so we were able to sit casually and talk. I told them of my focus on Mastery, Identity, and Creativity, and the ways these show up in our learning. The parents of reading students were thrilled with the idea of the Global Read Aloud we will be doing in October and November, and the parents of speech & debate students were excited about the many ways we practice public speaking, going beyond strict debate and using a variety of simulations, videos, and other creative approaches.  I felt good at the end of the night despite the late hour.

Other good news from the week: Florida Gulf Coast University's International Dept. wants to talk to me about how they can support the Global Read Aloud going forward. This came about in my conversations with Rebecca Totaro. She has been bugging me to tell her ways the university could get involved with K-12 education. This coming week I will be visiting the PTSA meeting, along with Deb Felice, to thank them for the grant money for the books.  Four teachers at my school are participating, and we are matched up with several classrooms in Canada (Ontario and British Columbia), as well as Indiana, Michigan, New York, California, and Oklahoma. This is an exciting opportunity for us all.

Given that Friday was "fried day" after the long day Thursday, I started the day with Creative Writing doing a story roundabout. One of the students had purchased John Green's Turtles All the Way Down from the book fair for my classroom library, so I pulled some sentences from it to get them going. We then had a contest for the best and worst stories. I took this picture of the story titles that were entered:

Everyone enjoyed the writing and the reading aloud of the stories. A good time was had by all!

This week the CLMS Book Club will  have its kick-off on Tuesday after school.  I have 12 kids signed up on the Google Classroom, and more who have told me they were planning on being there. At first I was worried about getting a response, so I am absolutely thrilled that this much interest is being shown right from the start. It looks like it will be an eclectic group.  More on that as we get going.

6. Synchronicity (All You Need is Love)

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Last night I was coming home from movie and dinner with a friend, listening to the Beatles Channel. This being Labor Day weekend, they are doing their annual countdown of the 100 favorite Beatles songs voted by the fans. On Saturday evening, the host Peter Asher was approaching #34 right at the time I was turning into my neighborhood. Peter began talking about the upcoming song, how it was the first song ever to be broadcast around the world via satellite television. Of course, I knew he was talking about "All You Need is Love."

I remember that night in June 1967 when this video was broadcast. The album Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band had just been released on June 1st, but this was not a song from that album. This was something else. If you've never seen it, you can watch it below. (Side note: since we only had a black and white TV at the time, my memory of this is in B & W.  It seemed weird to see it in color on YouTube.)

Back to Peter Asher and his introduction:

As I pulled up the driveway he was talking about how the song was recorded, and then a whole myriad of things were added, like a chorus of voices and various instruments. As he was saying this, I turned the car off since I was home.

This morning I decided to head out to the beach around 7:30 a.m. I had been in deep contemplation about some concerns I have, writing several pages in my journal, and I knew the beach would help clear my mind. I turned on the car, and as I backed out of the driveway, I heard Peter Asher saying the exact same things I had heard him say as I had pulled into the driveway last night. I looked at the screen and saw that, sure enough, they were on #34 again. It almost felt like the radio had waited there for me, just so I could hear the song.

SYNCHRONICITY.

I know not to ignore signs like this. Truly -- what are the odds that at any given time a person would have this experience of picking up at the exact same place a radio program was turned off?  I mean, it has to be one in a billion, right?

I knew right away what the message was I needed. In the past, I have used a chosen song to help me get through difficult times. And although I wouldn't say I'm in a "difficult" time -- many things are going beautifully. But I do feel some direct challenges that I know are requiring me to be a bit more vulnerable, a bit more open, a bit more (dare I say) loving. I think this song is the one I need to carry me for a while. It is a sentiment I agree with wholeheartedly. In practice -- well, we all know that's another thing.

In 1987, PBS had a two hour documentary called It Was Twenty Years Ago Today about the anniversary of the Sergeant Pepper album.  Near the end of the program they interviewed George Harrison, and one of the questions they asked was: "So, is it true -- all you need is love?"  George committed himself fully to it, saying it is true, it is his belief, and he's sticking to it. I loved that moment and his unwavering commitment. I think of that interview any time I hear the song.

On the way back from the beach, I heard "The Long and Winding Road" as the final song of my trip. I had to smile -- doesn't that describe the school year -- long and winding? I don't know what is around the next bend, but after this morning I know what I need for the journey. It all filters down to LOVE. I believe it. And I'm sticking to it.

And I have a cool song to play every day to remind me.