Around and Around We Go

 It is Thursday, and my first thought is Why is the summer going so fast?

My second is How will I ever get everything accomplished I need to do?

Because I'm tired.

We had 3 doctor appointments in two days. Jim is worn to a frazzle. I'm getting there myself.

There are many things I've been planning to write here, but I have not found the time or energy to follow through. I will, of course. But probably not today.

I've set small goals for myself for today, but even those are starting to feel like too much.

So I'm backing off and following through on three things I committed to already -- going to a yoga class, getting myself sushi for lunch, and taking more books to Annette in Bonita Springs.

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I've been committed to getting reading done as well, and yesterday I finished the Nick Cave book. He has some quotes that I recorded in my velvet book. When I got to the end, he had something to say that I knew I want to record here so I have it always. I feel it speaks to what happens here on this blog -- I go around and around with the same thoughts, learning lessons over and over. It often feels like I'm not really getting anywhere, which is why his final words had so much power to me.

Well, read the quote and see what you think:

Stumbling forward is a beautiful way of putting it, but I wonder if the notion of forwardness is correct. Perhaps what I mean to say is that although we feel we are moving in a forward direction, in my estimation we are forever moving in a circular way, with all the things we love and remember in tow, and carrying all our needs and yearnings and hurts along with us, and all the people who have poured themselves into us and made us what we are, and all the ghosts who travel with us. It's like we are running towards God, but that God's love is also the wind that is pushing us on, as both the impetus and the destination, and it resides in both the living and the dead. Around and around we go, encountering the same things, again and again, but within this movement things happen that change us, annihilate us, shift our relationship to the world. It is this circular motion that grows more essential and affirming and necessary with each turn.