11. Demoralized

 #66Challenge

Written 10/29/2021 after reading Lawrence Ferlinghetti's poem "Junkman's Obbligato."

The whole time I was reading this poem, all I kept thinking was

This is the way to feel demoralized.

They've done a good job.

How do I shake off this sadness?

I will arise and go now and claim myself back.

I say I'm just going to go along, but honestly it hurts too damn much.

And now I'm crying again.

How will I get past this?

I don't want to be that teacher.

I've tried all week to make it different.

It isn't helping much.

I'm not putting in extra time.

I'm not doing anything to my ability.

I ache and I'm tired and I'm 1000% frustrated.

This is what it feels like to be demoralized.