Whatever I Want It To Be

 

Yesterday, my sister asked me if I was coming to Ohio for Christmas.

I told her no, mostly because of health reasons

But in reality, I have no desire to travel during the busy holiday season.

Still, it brought up that I’ve been feeling uneasy about Christmas

Would I decorate?

Would I listen to Christmas music?

What would I do on the actual day?

And once I answered her question, I realized I needed to put some thought into this.

I took my journal and went out to the lanai on a gorgeous day

And I quickly realized this is all in my hands

I thought about all the ways Jim and I reimagined Christmas as we needed to

And that I could surely do the same

Then I got excited about listening to Christmas music.

And I thought yes, I can decorate as much as little as I want to.

The only rules are the ones I made for myself.

I might decide to write cards.

I might decide to buy gifts.

Right now, I’m not sure what direction I will take

But I am clear that it will be wonderful, and just what I want it to be.